her away. With perfect distinctness he could still
see the group before the altar rails, just as if he
had not been a part of it himself. Cis in her
white, Sylvia in fluffy grey; his impassive brother-in-law’s
tall figure; Gordy looking queer in a black coat, with
a very yellow face, and eyes still half-closed.
The rotten part of it all had been that you wanted
to be just
feeling, and you had to be thinking
of the ring, and your gloves, and whether the lowest
button of your white waistcoat was properly undone.
Girls could do both, it seemed—Cis seemed
to be seeing something wonderful all the time, and
Sylvia had looked quite holy. He himself had
been too conscious of the rector’s voice, and
the sort of professional manner with which he did it
all, as if he were making up a prescription, with
directions how to take it. And yet it was all
rather beautiful in a kind of fashion, every face turned
one way, and a tremendous hush—except for
poor old Godden’s blowing of his nose with his
enormous red handkerchief; and the soft darkness up
in the roof, and down in the pews; and the sunlight
brightening the South windows. All the same,
it would have been much jollier just taking hands
by themselves somewhere, and saying out before God
what they really felt—because, after all,
God was everything, everywhere, not only in stuffy
churches. That was how
he would like to
be married, out of doors on a starry night like this,
when everything felt wonderful all round you.
Surely God wasn’t half as small as people seemed
always making Him—a sort of superior man
a little bigger than themselves! Even the very
most beautiful and wonderful and awful things one could
imagine or make, could only be just nothing to a God
who had a temple like the night out there. But
then you couldn’t be married alone, and no girl
would ever like to be married without rings and flowers
and dresses, and words that made it all feel small
and cosy! Cis might have, perhaps, only she
wouldn’t, because of not hurting other people’s
feelings; but Sylvia—never—she
would be afraid. Only, of course, she was young!
And the thread of his thoughts broke—and
scattered like beads from a string.
Leaning out, and resting his chin on his hands, he
drew the night air into his lungs. Honeysuckle,
or was it the scent of lilies still? The stars
all out, and lots of owls to-night—four
at least. What would night be like without owls
and stars? But that was it—you never
could think what things would be like if they weren’t
just what and where they were. You never knew
what was coming, either; and yet, when it came, it
seemed as if nothing else ever could have come.
That was queer-you could do anything you liked until
you’d done it, but when you had done it,
then you knew, of course, that you must always have
had to . . . What was that light, below and
to the left? Whose room? Old Tingle’s—no,
the little spare room—Sylvia’s!
She must be awake, then! He leaned far out,
and whispered in the voice she had said was still furry: