Mrs. L. [Dryly] Ah!—Yu’um
gwine to be very busy, that’s sartin.
Can you sew?
L. Aida. [With a Smile] Nao.
Mrs. L. Don’ they tache Yu that, there?
L. Aida. [Blending contempt and a lingering curiosity] Nao.
Mrs. L. ’Tes wonderful genteel.
L. Aida. I can sing, though.
Mrs. L. Let’s ’ear yu, then.
L. Aida. [Shaking her head] I can ply the pianner. I can ply a tune.
Mrs. L. Whose pianner?
L. Aida. Mrs. Brahn’s when she’s gone aht.
Mrs. L. Well, yu are gettin’ edjucation! Du they tache yu to love yore neighbours?
L. Aida. [Ineffably] Nao. [Straying to the window] Mrs. Lemmy, what’s the moon?
Mrs. L. The mune? Us used to zay ‘twas made o’ crame cheese.
L. Aida. I can see it.
Mrs. L. Ah! Don’ yu never go wishin’ for it, me dear.
L. Aida. I daon’t.
Mrs. L. Folks as wish for the mune never du no gude.
L. Aida. [Craning out, brilliant] I’m
goin’ dahn in the street.
I’ll come back for yer trahsers.
Mrs. L. Well; go yu, then, and get a breath o’ fresh air in yore chakes. I’ll sune ’a feneshed.
L. Aida. [Solemnly] I’m goin’ to be a dancer, I am.
She rushes suddenly to the door, pulls it open, and is gone.
Mrs. L. [Looking after her, and talking to herself.] Ah! ’Er’ve a-got all ’er troubles before ’er! “Little lamb, a made’ee?” [Cackling] ’Tes a funny world, tu! [She sings to herself.]
“There
is a green ’ill far away
Without
a city wall,
Where
our dear-Lord was crucified,
’U
died to save us all.”
The door is opened, and Lemmy comes in; a little man with a stubble of dark moustache and spiky dark hair; large, peculiar eyes he has, and a look of laying his ears back, a look of doubting, of perversity with laughter up the sleeve, that grows on those who have to do with gas and water. He shuts the door.
Mrs. L. Well, Bob, I ’aven’t a-seen yu this tu weeks.
Lemmy comes up
to his mother, and sits down on a stool, sets a
tool-bag between his
knees, and speaks in a cockney voice.
Lemmy. Well, old lydy o’ leisure! Wot would y’ ’ave for supper, if yer could choose—salmon wivaht the tin, an’ tipsy cyke?
Mrs. L. [Shaking her head and smiling blandly] That’s showy. Toad in the ’ole I’d ‘ave—and a glass o’ port wine.
Lemmy. Providential. [He opens a tool-bag] Wot dyer think I’ve got yer?
Mrs. L. I ’ope yu’ve a-got yureself a job, my son!
Lemmy. [With his peculiar smile] Yus, or I couldn’t ’ave afforded yer this. [He takes out a bottle] Not ’arf! This’ll put the blood into yer. Pork wine—once in the cellars of the gryte. We’ll drink the ryyal family in this.