Clyst. Then what we got to du’s to elect a meetin’.
Burlacombe. [Sourly] Yu’ll not find no procedure far that.
[Voices from among the
dumb-as fishes: “Mr. Burlacombe ’e
oughter know.”]
Sol Potter. [Scratching his head—with heavy solemnity] ’Tes my belief there’s no other way to du, but to elect a chairman to call a meetin’; an’ then for that meetin’ to elect a chairman.
Clyst. I purpose Mr. Burlacombe as chairman to call a meetin’.
Freman. I purpose Sol Potter.
Godleigh. Can’t ‘ave tu propositions together before a meetin’; that’s apple-pie zure vur zurtain.
[Voice from among the
dumb-as fishes: “There ain’t no meetin’
yet, Sol Potter zays.”]
Trustaford. Us must get the rights of it zettled some’ow. ’Tes like the darned old chicken an’ the egg—meetin’ or chairman—which come virst?
Sol Potter. [Conciliating] To my thinkin’ there shid be another way o’ duin’ it, to get round it like with a circumbendibus. ’T’all comes from takin’ different vuse, in a manner o’ spakin’.
Freman. Vu goo an’ zet in that chair.
Sol Potter. [With a glance at Burlacombe modestly] I shid’n never like fur to du that, with Mr. Burlacombe zettin’ there.
Burlacombe. [Rising] ’Tes all darned fulishness.
[Amidst an uneasy shufflement
of feet he moves to the door, and
goes out into the darkness.]
Clyst. [Seeing his candidate thus depart] Rackon curate’s pretty well thru by now, I’m goin’ to zee. [As he passes Jarland] ’Ow’s to base, old man?
[He goes out.
One of the dumb-as-fishes moves from the door and
fills the apace left
on the bench by Burlacombe’s departure.]
Jarland. Darn all this puzzivantin’! [To Sol Potter] Got an’ zet in that chair.
Sol Potter. [Rising and going to the chair; there he stands, changing from one to the other of his short broad feet and sweating from modesty and worth] ’Tes my duty now, gentlemen, to call a meetin’ of the parishioners of this parish. I beg therefore to declare that this is a meetin’ in accordance with my duty as chairman of this meetin’ which elected me chairman to call this meetin’. And I purceed to vacate the chair so that this meetin’ may now purceed to elect a chairman.
[He gets up from the
chair, and wiping the sweat from his brow,
goes back to his seat.]
Freman. Mr. Chairman, I rise on a point of order.
Godleigh. There ain’t no chairman.
Freman. I don’t give a darn for that. I rise on a point of order.
Godleigh. ’Tes a chairman that decides points of order. ’Tes certain yu can’t rise on no points whatever till there’s a chairman.