Roper.  Where do you live?

Jack.  At 6, Rockingham Gate.

     [All his answers are recorded by the Clerk.]

Roper.  You are the son of the owner?

Jack. [In a very low voice.] Yes.

Roper.  Speak up, please.  Do you know the prisoners?

Jack. [Looking at the Joneses, in a low voice.] I ’ve seen Mrs.
Jones.  I [in a loud voice] don’t know the man.

Jones.  Well, I know you!

Bald constable.  HSSh!

Roper.  Now, did you come in late on the night of Easter Monday?

Jack.  Yes.

Roper.  And did you by mistake leave your latch key in the door?

Jack.  Yes.

Magistrate.  Oh!  You left your latch-key in the door?

Roper.  And is that all you can remember about your coming in?

Jack. [In a loud voice.] Yes, it is.

Magistrate.  Now, you have heard the male prisoner’s story, what do you say to that?

Jack. [Turning to the magistrate, speaks suddenly in a confident, straight-forward voice.] The fact of the matter is, sir, that I ’d been out to the theatre that night, and had supper afterwards, and I came in late.

Magistrate.  Do you remember this man being outside when you came in?

Jack.  No, Sir. [He hesitates.] I don’t think I do.

Magistrate. [Somewhat puzzled.] Well, did he help you to open the door, as he says?  Did any one help you to open the door?

Jack.  No, sir—­I don’t think so, sir—­I don’t know.

Magistrate.  You don’t know?  But you must know.  It is n’t a usual thing for you to have the door opened for you, is it?

Jack. [With a shamefaced smile.] No.

Magistrate.  Very well, then——­

Jack. [Desperately.] The fact of the matter is, sir, I’m afraid
I’d had too much champagne that night.

Magistrate. [Smiling.] Oh! you’d had too much champagne?

Jones.  May I ask the gentleman a question?

Magistrate.  Yes—­yes—­you may ask him what questions you like.

Jones.  Don’t you remember you said you was a Liberal, same as your father, and you asked me wot I was?

Jack. [With his hand against his brow.] I seem to remember——­

Jones.  And I said to you, “I’m a bloomin’ Conservative,” I said; an’ you said to me, “You look more like one of these ’ere Socialists.  Take wotever you like,” you said.

Jack. [With sudden resolution.] No, I don’t.  I don’t remember anything of the sort.

Jones.  Well, I do, an’ my word’s as good as yours.  I ’ve never been had up in a police court before.  Look ’ere, don’t you remember you had a sky-blue bag in your ’and [Barthwick jumps.]