She tried at once to take his head into her arms,
but could not see it, and succeeded indifferently.
She could but stroke his arm continually, wondering
whether he would hate her ever afterwards, and blessing
the darkness, which made it all seem as though it were
not happening, yet so much more poignant than if it
had happened. Suddenly she felt him slip away
from her, and getting up, stole out. After the
darkness of that room, the corridor seemed full of
grey filmy light, as though dream-spiders had joined
the walls with their cobwebs, in which innumerable
white moths, so tiny that they could not be seen, were
struggling. Small eerie noises crept about.
A sudden frightened longing for warmth, and light,
and colour came to Barbara. She fled back to
her room. But she could not sleep. That
terrible mute unseen vibration in the unlighted room-like
the noiseless licking of a flame at bland air; the
touch of Miltoun’s hand, hot as fire against
her cheek and neck; the whole tremulous dark episode,
possessed her through and through. Thus had
the wayward force of Love chosen to manifest itself
to her in all its wistful violence. At this
fiat sight of the red flower of passion her cheeks
burned; up and down her, between the cool sheets, little
hot cruel shivers ran; she lay, wide-eyed, staring
at the ceiling. She thought, of the woman whom
he so loved, and wondered if she too were lying sleepless,
flung down on a bare floor, trying to cool her forehead
and lips against a cold wall.
Not for hours did she fall asleep, and then dreamed
of running desperately through fields full of tall
spiky asphodel-like flowers, and behind her was running
herself.
In the morning she dreaded to go down. Could
she meet Miltoun now that she knew of the passion
in him, and he knew that she knew it? She had
her breakfast brought upstairs. Before she had
finished Miltoun himself came in. He looked
more than usually self-contained, not to say ironic,
and only remarked: “If you’re going
to ride you might take this note for me over to old
Haliday at Wippincott.” By his coming she
knew that he was saying all he ever meant to say about
that dark incident. And sympathizing completely
with a reticence which she herself felt to be the
only possible way out for both of them, Barbara looked
at him gratefully, took the note and said: “All
right!”
Then, after glancing once or twice round the room,
Miltoun went away.
He left her restless, divested of the cloak ‘of
course,’ in a strange mood of questioning, ready
as it were for the sight of the magpie wings of Life,
and to hear their quick flutterings. Talk jarred
on her that morning, with its sameness and attachment
to the facts of the present and the future, its essential
concern with the world as it was-she avoided all companionship
on her ride. She wanted to be told of things
that were not, yet might be, to peep behind the curtain,
and see the very spirit of mortal happenings escaped