fitting the Chinese puzzle of her scattered thoughts,
setting out on each small adventure with a certain
cautious zest, and taking Stephen with her as far
as he allowed. This last year or so, now that
Thyme was a grown girl, she had felt at once a loss
of purpose and a gain of liberty. She hardly
knew whether to be glad or sorry. It freed her
for the tasting of more things, more people, and more
Stephen; but it left a little void in her heart, a
little soreness round it. What would Thyme think
if she heard this story about her uncle? The
thought started a whole train of doubts that had of
late beset her. Was her little daughter going
to turn out like herself? If not, why not?
Stephen joked about his daughter’s skirts, her
hockey, her friendship with young men. He joked
about the way Thyme refused to let him joke about
her art or about her interest in “the people.”
His joking was a source of irritation to Cecilia.
For, by woman’s instinct rather than by any
reasoning process, she was conscious of a disconcerting
change. Amongst the people she knew, young men
were not now attracted by girls as they had been in
her young days. There was a kind of cool and
friendly matter-of-factness in the way they treated
them, a sort of almost scientific playfulness.
And Cecilia felt uneasy as to how far this was to
go. She seemed left behind. If young people
were really becoming serious, if youths no longer
cared about the colour of Thyme’s eyes, or dress,
or hair, what would there be left to care for—that
is, up to the point of definite relationship?
Not that she wanted her daughter to be married.
It would be time enough to think of that when she
was twenty-five. But her own experiences had
been so different. She had spent so many youthful
hours in wondering about men, had seen so many men
cast furtive looks at her; and now there did not seem
in men or girls anything left worth the other’s
while to wonder or look furtive about. She was
not of a philosophic turn of mind, and had attached
no deep meaning to Stephen’s jest—“If
young people will reveal their ankles, they’ll
soon have no ankles to reveal.”
To Cecilia the extinction of the race seemed threatened;
in reality her species of the race alone was vanishing,
which to her, of course, was very much the same disaster.
With her eyes on Stephen’s boots she thought:
’How shall I prevent what I’ve heard from
coming to Bianca’s ears? I know how she
would take it! How shall I prevent Thyme’s
hearing? I’m sure I don’t know what
the effect would be on her! I must speak to
Stephen. He’s so fond of Hilary.’
And, turning away from Stephen’s boots, she
mused: ’Of course it’s nonsense.
Hilary’s much too—too nice, too fastidious,
to be more than just interested; but he’s so
kind he might easily put himself in a false position.
And—it’s ugly nonsense! B.
can be so disagreeable; even now she’s not—on
terms with him!’ And suddenly the thought of
Mr. Purcey leaped into her mind—Mr. Purcey,
who, as Mrs. Tallents Smallpeace had declared, was
not even conscious that there was a problem of the
poor. To think of him seemed somehow at that
moment comforting, like rolling oneself in a blanket
against a draught. Passing into her room, she
opened her wardrobe door.