and Loraine and the occupation of Paris! [Vicious digs with a pencil through the above proper names.] Race for the Derby won by Sir Joseph Hawley’s Musjid! [That’s what England cares for!  Hooray for the Darby!  Italy be deedeed!] Visit of Prince Alfred to the Holy Land.  Letter from our, own Correspondent. [Oh!  Oh!  A West Minkville?] Cotton advanced.  Breadstuffs declining.—­Deacon Rumrill’s barn burned down on Saturday night.  A pig missing; supposed to have “fallen a prey to the devouring element.” [Got roasted.] A yellow mineral had been discovered on the Doolittle farm, which, by the report of those who had seen it, bore a strong resemblance to California gold ore.  Much excitement in the neighborhood in consequence [Idiots!  Iron pyrites!] A hen at Four Corners had just laid an egg measuring 7 by 8 inches.  Fetch on your biddies! [Editorial wit!] A man had shot an eagle measuring six feet and a half from tip to tip of his wings.—­Crops suffering for want of rain [Always just so.  “Dry times, Father Noah!”] The editors had received a liberal portion of cake from the happy couple whose matrimonial union was recorded in the column dedicated to Hymen.  Also a superior article of [article of! bah!] steel pen from the enterprising merchant [shopkeeper] whose advertisement was to be found on the third page of this paper.—­An interesting Surprise Party [cheap theatricals] had transpired [bah!] on Thursday evening last at the house of the Rev. Mr. Stoker.  The parishioners had donated [donated!  Give is a good word enough for the Lord’s Prayer.  Donate our daily bread!] a bag of meal, a bushel of beans, a keg of pickles, and a quintal of salt-fish.  The worthy pastor was much affected, etc., etc. [Of course.  Call’em.  Sensation parties and done with it!] The Rev. Dr. Pemberton and the venerable Dr. Hurlbut honored the occasion with their presence.—­We learn that the Rev. Ambrose Eveleth, rector of St. Bartholomew’s Chapel, has returned from his journey, and will officiate to-morrow.

Then came strings of advertisements, with a luxuriant vegetation of capitals and notes of admiration.  More of those prime goods!  Full Assortments of every Article in our line! [Except the one thing you want!] Auction Sale.  Old furniture, feather-beds, bed-spreads [spreads! ugh!], setts [setts!] crockery-ware, odd vols., ullage bbls. of this and that, with other household goods, etc., etc., etc.,—­the etceteras meaning all sorts of insane movables, such as come out of their bedlam-holes when an antiquated domestic establishment disintegrates itself at a country “vandoo.”—­Several announcements of “Feed,” whatever that may be,—­not restaurant dinners, anyhow,—­also of “Shorts,”—­terms mysterious to city ears as jute and cudbear and gunnybags to such as drive oxen in the remote interior districts.—­Then the marriage column above alluded to, by the fortunate recipients of the cake.  Right opposite, as if