I certainly do, I answered.  My table aches with them.  My shelves groan with them.  Think of what a fuss Pope made about his trials, when he complained that

     “All Bedlam or Parnassus is let out”!

What were the numbers of the

     “Mob of gentlemen who wrote with ease”

to that great multitude of contributors to our magazines, and authors of little volumes—­sometimes, alas! big ones—­of verse, which pour out of the press, not weekly, but daily, and at such a rate of increase that it seems as if before long every hour would bring a book, or at least an article which is to grow into a book by and by?

I thanked Heaven, the other day, that I was not a critic.  These attenuated volumes of poetry in fancy bindings open their covers at one like so many little unfledged birds, and one does so long to drop a worm in,—­a worm in the shape of a kind word for the poor fledgling!  But what a desperate business it is to deal with this army of candidates for immortality!  I have often had something to say about them, and I may be saying over the same things; but if I do not remember what I have said, it is not very likely that my reader will; if he does, he will find, I am very sure, that I say it a little differently.

What astonishes me is that this enormous mass of commonplace verse, which burdens the postman who brings it, which it is a serious task only to get out of its wrappers and open in two or three places, is on the whole of so good an average quality.  The dead level of mediocrity is in these days a table-land, a good deal above the old sea-level of laboring incapacity.  Sixty years ago verses made a local reputation, which verses, if offered today to any of our first-class magazines, would go straight into the waste-basket.  To write “poetry” was an art and mystery in which only a few noted men and a woman or two were experts.

When “Potter the ventriloquist,” the predecessor of the well-remembered Signor Blitz, went round giving his entertainments, there was something unexplained, uncanny, almost awful, and beyond dispute marvellous, in his performances.  Those watches that disappeared and came back to their owners, those endless supplies of treasures from empty hats, and especially those crawling eggs that travelled all over the magician’s person, sent many a child home thinking that Mr. Potter must have ghostly assistants, and raised grave doubts in the minds of “professors,” that is members of the church, whether they had not compromised their characters by being seen at such an unhallowed exhibition.  Nowadays, a clever boy who has made a study of parlor magic can do many of those tricks almost as well as the great sorcerer himself.  How simple it all seems when we have seen the mechanism of the deception!