upon it or curled over it; all eyes should be kept
away from the skies, in spite of os homini sublime
dedit; youth should be coupled with all the virtues
except truth; earth should never be reminded of her
birth; death should never be allowed to stop a mortal’s
breath, nor the bell to sound his knell, nor flowers
from blossoming bowers to wave over his grave or show
their bloom upon his tomb. We have rhyming dictionaries,—let
us have one from which all rhymes are rigorously excluded.
The sight of a poor creature grubbing for rhymes to
fill up his sonnet, or to cram one of those voracious,
rhyme-swallowing rigmaroles which some of our drudging
poetical operatives have been exhausting themselves
of late to satiate with jingles, makes my head ache
and my stomach rebel. Work, work of some kind,
is the business of men and women, not the making of
jingles! No,—no,—no!
I want to see the young people in our schools and
academies and colleges, and the graduates of these
institutions, lifted up out of the little Dismal Swamp
of self-contemplating and self-indulging and self-commiserating
emotionalism which is surfeiting the land with those
literary sandwiches,—thin slices of tinkling
sentimentality between two covers looking like hard-baked
gilt gingerbread. But what faces these young
folks make up at my good advice! They get tipsy
on their rhymes. Nothing intoxicates one like
his—or her—own verses, and they
hold on to their metre-ballad-mongering as the fellows
that inhale nitrous oxide hold on to the gas-bag.”
We laughed over this essay of the old Professor; though
it hit us pretty hard. The best part of the joke
is that the old man himself published a thin volume
of poems when he was young, which there is good reason
to think he is not very proud of, as they say he buys
up all the copies he can find in the shops. No
matter what they say, I can’t help agreeing
with him about this great flood of “poetry,”
as it calls itself, and looking at the rhyming mania
much as he does.
How I do love real poetry! That is the reason
hate rhymes which have not a particle of it in them.
The foolish scribblers that deal in them are like
bad workmen in a carpenter’s shop. They
not only turn out bad jobs of work, but they spoil
the tools for better workmen. There is hardly
a pair of rhymes in the English language that is not
so dulled and hacked and gapped by these ’prentice
hands that a master of the craft hates to touch them,
and yet he cannot very well do without them. I
have not been besieged as the old Professor has been
with such multitudes of would-be-poetical aspirants
that he could not even read their manuscripts, but
I have had a good many letters containing verses, and
I have warned the writers of the delusion under which
they were laboring.