“Meet me on the Tarpeian Rock tomorrow evening, dear, at sharp
seven.  Mother will be absent on a visit to her friends in the
Sabine Hills.  Claudia.”

Ah, where is that lucky youth to-day, and where the little hand that wrote those dainty lines?  Dust and ashes these seventeen hundred years!

Thus reads the bill: 

Romancoliseum. 
Unparalleled attraction! 
New properties!  New lions!  New gladiators! 
Engagement of the renowned
Marcus Marcellus valerian! 
For six nights only!

The management beg leave to offer to the public an entertainment surpassing in magnificence any thing that has heretofore been attempted on any stage.  No expense has been spared to make the opening season one which shall be worthy the generous patronage which the management feel sure will crown their efforts.  The management beg leave to state that they have succeeded in securing the services of a

Galaxy of talent!
such as has not been beheld in Rome before.

The performance will commence this evening with a

Grand broadsword combat! between two young and promising amateurs and a celebrated Parthian gladiator who has just arrived a prisoner from the Camp of Verus.

This will be followed by a grand moral

Battle-ax engagement!
between the renowned Valerian (with one hand tied behind him,) and two gigantic savages from Britain.

After which the renowned Valerian (if he survive,) will fight with the broad-sword,

Left handed!
against six Sophomores and a Freshman from the Gladiatorial College!

A long series of brilliant engagements will follow, in which the finest talent of the Empire will take part

After which the celebrated Infant Prodigy known as

“Theyoung Achilles,”
will engage four tiger whelps in combat, armed with no other weapon than his little spear!

The whole to conclude with a chaste and elegant

General slaughter! 
In which thirteen African Lions and twenty-two Barbarian Prisoners will
war with each other until all are exterminated.

Boxoffice now open.

Dress Circle One Dollar; Children and Servants half price.

An efficient police force will be on hand to preserve order and keep the wild beasts from leaping the railings and discommoding the audience.

Doors open at 7; performance begins at 8.

Positively no free list.

Diodorus Job Press.

It was as singular as it was gratifying that I was also so fortunate as to find among the rubbish of the arena, a stained and mutilated copy of the Roman Daily Battle-Ax, containing a critique upon this very performance.  It comes to hand too late by many centuries to rank as news, and therefore I translate and publish it simply to show how very little the general style and phraseology of dramatic criticism has altered in the ages that have dragged their slow length along since the carriers laid this one damp and fresh before their Roman patrons: