To W. D. Howells, in Belmont, Mass.:
Thursday, June 6th, 1880. My dear Howells,—There you stick, at Belmont, and now I’m going to Washington for a few days; and of course, between you and Providence that visit is going to get mixed, and you’ll have been here and gone again just about the time I get back. Bother it all, I wanted to astonish you with a chapter or two from Orion’s latest book—not the seventeen which he has begun in the last four months, but the one which he began last week.
Last night, when I went to bed, Mrs. Clemens said, “George didn’t take the cat down to the cellar—Rosa says he has left it shut up in the conservatory.” So I went down to attend to Abner (the cat.) About 3 in the morning Mrs. C. woke me and said, “I do believe I hear that cat in the drawing-room—what did you do with him?” I answered up with the confidence of a man who has managed to do the right thing for once, and said “I opened the conservatory doors, took the library off the alarm, and spread everything open, so that there wasn’t any obstruction between him and the cellar.” Language wasn’t capable of conveying this woman’s disgust. But the sense of what she said, was, “He couldn’t have done any harm in the conservatory—so you must go and make the entire house free to him and the burglars, imagining that he will prefer the coal-bins to the drawing-room. If you had had Mr. Howells to help you, I should have admired but not been astonished, because I should know that together you would be equal to it; but how you managed to contrive such a stately blunder all by yourself, is what I cannot understand.”
So, you see, even she knows how to appreciate our gifts.
Brisk times here.—Saturday, these things happened: Our neighbor Chas. Smith was stricken with heart disease, and came near joining the majority; my publisher, Bliss, ditto, ditto; a neighbor’s child died; neighbor Whitmore’s sixth child added to his five other cases of measles; neighbor Niles sent for, and responded; Susie Warner down, abed; Mrs. George Warner threatened with death during several hours; her son Frank, whilst imitating the marvels