Complete Letters of Mark Twain eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,140 pages of information about Complete Letters of Mark Twain.

Complete Letters of Mark Twain eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 1,140 pages of information about Complete Letters of Mark Twain.

472 Delaware st., Buffalo, Jan. 28.  Dear Mr. Aldrich,—­No indeed, don’t take back the apology!  Hang it, I don’t want to abuse a man’s civility merely because he gives me the chance.

I hear a good deal about doing things on the “spur of the moment” —­I invariably regret the things I do on the spur of the moment.  That disclaimer of mine was a case in point.  I am ashamed every time I think of my bursting out before an unconcerned public with that bombastic pow-wow about burning publishers’ letters, and all that sort of imbecility, and about my not being an imitator, etc.  Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I kept always cool and never let nature come to the surface?  Nobody.

But I did hate to be accused of plagiarizing Bret Harte, who trimmed and trained and schooled me patiently until he changed me from an awkward utterer of coarse grotesquenesses to a writer of paragraphs and chapters that have found a certain favor in the eyes of even some of the very decentest people in the land—­and this grateful remembrance of mine ought to be worth its face, seeing that Bret broke our long friendship a year ago without any cause or provocation that I am aware of.

Well, it is funny, the reminiscences that glare out from murky corners of one’s memory, now and then, without warning.  Just at this moment a picture flits before me:  Scene—­private room in Barnum’s Restaurant, Virginia, Nevada; present, Artemus Ward, Joseph T. Goodman, (editor and proprietor Daily “Enterprise"), and “Dan de Quille” and myself, reporters for same; remnants of the feast thin and scattering, but such tautology and repetition of empty bottles everywhere visible as to be offensive to the sensitive eye; time, 2.30 A.M.; Artemus thickly reciting a poem about a certain infant you wot of, and interrupting himself and being interrupted every few lines by poundings of the table and shouts of “Splendid, by Shorzhe!” Finally, a long, vociferous, poundiferous and vitreous jingling of applause announces the conclusion, and then Artemus:  “Let every man ’at loves his fellow man and ’preciates a poet ’at loves his fellow man, stan’ up!—­Stan’ up and drink health and long life to Thomas Bailey Aldrich!—­and drink it stanning!” (On all hands fervent, enthusiastic, and sincerely honest attempts to comply.) Then Artemus:  “Well—­consider it stanning, and drink it just as ye are!” Which was done.

You must excuse all this stuff from a stranger, for the present, and when I see you I will apologize in full.

Do you know the prettiest fancy and the neatest that ever shot through Harte’s brain?  It was this:  When they were trying to decide upon a vignette for the cover of the Overland, a grizzly bear (of the arms of the State of California) was chosen.  Nahl Bras. carved him and the page was printed, with him in it, looking thus:  [Rude sketch of a grizzly bear.]

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Complete Letters of Mark Twain from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.