well, I hain’t got time to be palavering along here—­got to nail on the lid and mosey along with’ him; and if you’ll just give me a lift we’ll skeet him into the hearse and meander along.  Relations bound to have it so—­don’t pay no attention to dying injunctions, minute a corpse’s gone; but if I had my way, if I didn’t respect his last wishes and tow him behind the hearse, I’ll be cuss’d.  I consider that whatever a corpse wants done for his comfort is a little enough matter, and a man hain’t got no right to deceive him or take advantage of him—­and whatever a corpse trusts me to do I’m a-going to do, you know, even if it’s to stuff him and paint him yaller and keep him for a keepsake—­you hear me!”

He cracked his whip and went lumbering away with his ancient ruin of a hearse, and I continued my walk with a valuable lesson learned—­that a healthy and wholesome cheerfulness is not necessarily impossible to any occupation.  The lesson is likely to be lasting, for it will take many months to obliterate the memory of the remarks and circumstances that impressed it.

A ROYAL COMPLIMENT

The latest report about the Spanish crown is, that it will now be offered to Prince Alfonso, the second son of the King of Portugal, who is but five years of age.  The Spaniards have hunted through all the nations of Europe for a King.  They tried to get a Portuguese in the person of Dom-Luis, who is an old ex-monarch; they tried to get an Italian, in the person of Victor Emanuel’s young son, the Duke of Genoa; they tried to get a Spaniard, in the person of Espartero, who is an octogenarian.  Some of them desired a French Bourbon, Montpensier; some of them a Spanish Bourbon, the Prince of Asturias; some of them an English prince, one of the sons of Queen Victoria.  They have just tried to get the German Prince Leopold; but they have thought it better to give him up than take a war along with him.  It is a long time since we first suggested to them to try an American ruler.  We can offer them a large number of able and experienced sovereigns to pick from—­men skilled in statesmanship, versed in the science of government, and adepts in all the arts of administration—­men who could wear the crown with dignity and rule the kingdom at a reasonable expense.

There is not the least danger of Napoleon threatening them if they take an American sovereign; in fact, we have no doubt he would be pleased to support such a candidature.  We are unwilling to mention names—­though we have a man in our eye whom we wish they had in theirs.—­New York Tribune.

It would be but an ostentation of modesty to permit such a pointed reference to myself to pass unnoticed.  This is the second time that ’The Tribune’ (no doubt sincerely looking to the best interests of Spain and the world at large) has done me the great and unusual honour to propose me as a fit person to