“’Jones, if you don’t want to be discharged from the Musseum, make the next primeaveal weppons more careful—­you couldn’t even fool one of these sleepy old syentific grannys from the Coledge with the last ones.  And mind you the animles you carved on some of the Bone Ornaments is a blame sight too good for any primeaveal man that was ever fooled.—­Varnum, Manager.’

“Back of the burial place was a mass of ashes, showing that Man always had a feast at a funeral—­else why the ashes in such a place; and showing, also, that he believed in God and the immortality of the soil —­else why these solemn ceremonies?

“To, sum up.  We believe that Man had a written language.  We know that he indeed existed at one time, and is not a myth; also, that he was the companion of the cave-bear, the mastodon, and other extinct species; that he cooked and ate them and likewise the young of his own kind; also, that he bore rude weapons, and knew something of art; that he imagined he had a soul, and pleased himself with the fancy that it was immortal.  But let us not laugh; there may be creatures in existence to whom we and our vanities and profundities may seem as ludicrous.”

END OF PART SECOND

SOME LEARNED FABLES FOR GOOD OLD BOYS AND GIRLS

PART THIRD

Near the margin of the great river the scientists presently found a huge, shapely stone, with this inscription: 

“In 1847, in the spring, the river overflowed its banks and covered the whole township.  The depth was from two to six feet.  More than 900 head of cattle were lost, and many homes destroyed.  The Mayor ordered this memorial to be erected to perpetuate the event.  God spare us the repetition of it!”

With infinite trouble, Professor Woodlouse succeeded in making a translation of this inscription, which was sent home, and straightway an enormous excitement was created about it.  It confirmed, in a remarkable way, certain treasured traditions of the ancients.  The translation was slightly marred by one or two untranslatable words, but these did not impair the general clearness of the meaning.  It is here presented: 

“One thousand eight hundred and forty-seven years ago, the (fires?) descended and consumed the whole city.  Only some nine hundred souls were saved, all others destroyed.  The (king?) commanded this stone to be set up to . . . (untranslatable) . . . prevent the repetition of it.”

This was the first successful and satisfactory translation that had been made of the mysterious character let behind him by extinct man, and it gave Professor Woodlouse such reputation that at once every seat of learning in his native land conferred a degree of the most illustrious grade upon him, and it was believed that if he had been a soldier and had turned his splendid talents