By a unanimous voice the people condemned the ex-emperor and the social democrat to perpetual banishment from church services, or to perpetual labor as galley-slaves in the whale-boat—­whichever they might prefer.  The next day the nation assembled again, and rehoisted the British flag, reinstated the British tyranny, reduced the nobility to the condition of commoners again, and then straightway turned their diligent attention to the weeding of the ruined and neglected yam patches, and the rehabilitation of the old useful industries and the old healing and solacing pieties.  The ex-emperor restored the lost trespass law, and explained that he had stolen it not to injure any one, but to further his political projects.  Therefore the nation gave the late chief magistrate his office again, and also his alienated Property.

Upon reflection, the ex-emperor and the social democrat chose perpetual banishment from religious services in preference to perpetual labor as galley slaves “with perpetual religious services,” as they phrased it; wherefore the people believed that the poor fellows’ troubles had unseated their reason, and so they judged it best to confine them for the present.  Which they did.

Such is the history of Pitcairn’s “doubtful acquisition.”

THE CANVASSER’S TALE

Poor, sad-eyed stranger!  There was that about his humble mien, his tired look, his decayed-gentility clothes, that almost reached the mustard, seed of charity that still remained, remote and lonely, in the empty vastness of my heart, notwithstanding I observed a portfolio under his arm, and said to myself, Behold, Providence hath delivered his servant into the hands of another canvasser.

Well, these people always get one interested.  Before I well knew how it came about, this one was telling me his history, and I was all attention and sympathy.  He told it something like this: 

My parents died, alas, when I was a little, sinless child.  My uncle Ithuriel took me to his heart and reared me as his own.  He was my only relative in the wide world; but he was good and rich and generous.  He reared me in the lap of luxury.  I knew no want that money could satisfy.

In the fullness of time I was graduated, and went with two of my servants—­my chamberlain and my valet—­to travel in foreign countries.  During four years I flitted upon careless wing amid the beauteous gardens of the distant strand, if you will permit this form of speech in one whose tongue was ever attuned to poesy; and indeed I so speak with confidence, as one unto his kind, for I perceive by your eyes that you too, sir, are gifted with the divine inflation.  In those far lands I reveled in the ambrosial food that fructifies the soul, the mind, the heart.  But of all things, that which most appealed to my inborn esthetic taste was the prevailing custom there, among the rich, of making collections of elegant and costly rarities, dainty objets de vertu, and in an evil hour I tried to uplift my uncle Ithuriel to a plane of sympathy with this exquisite employment.