“It goes up into the dozens, does it?”

“Well, yes; in a free country likes ours, where any man can run for Congress and anybody can vote for him, you can’t expect immortal purity all the time—­it ain’t in nature.  Sixty or eighty or a hundred and fifty people are bound to get in who are not angels in disguise, as young Hicks the correspondent says; but still it is a very good average; very good indeed.  As long as it averages as well as that, I think we can feel very well satisfied.  Even in these days, when people growl so much and the newspapers are so out of patience, there is still a very respectable minority of honest men in Congress.”

“Why a respectable minority of honest men can’t do any good, Colonel.”

“Oh, yes it can, too”

“Why, how?”

“Oh, in many ways, many ways.”

“But what are the ways?”

“Well—­I don’t know—­it is a question that requires time; a body can’t answer every question right off-hand.  But it does do good.  I am satisfied of that.”

“All right, then; grant that it does good; go on with the preliminaries.”

“That is what I am coming to.  First, as I said, they will try a lot of members for taking money for votes.  That will take four weeks.”

“Yes, that’s like last year; and it is a sheer waste of the time for which the nation pays those men to work—­that is what that is.  And it pinches when a body’s got a bill waiting.”

“A waste of time, to purify the fountain of public law?  Well, I never heard anybody express an idea like that before.  But if it were, it would still be the fault of the minority, for the majority don’t institute these proceedings.  There is where that minority becomes an obstruction —­but still one can’t say it is on the wrong side.—­Well, after they have finished the bribery cases, they will take up cases of members who have bought their seats with money.  That will take another four weeks.”

“Very good; go on.  You have accounted for two-thirds of the session.”

“Next they will try each other for various smaller irregularities, like the sale of appointments to West Point cadetships, and that sort of thing—­mere trifling pocket-money enterprises that might better, be passed over in silence, perhaps, but then one of our Congresses can never rest easy till it has thoroughly purified itself of all blemishes—­and that is a thing to be applauded.”

“How long does it take to disinfect itself of these minor impurities?”

“Well, about two weeks, generally.”

“So Congress always lies helpless in quarantine ten weeks of a session.  That’s encouraging.  Colonel, poor Laura will never get any benefit from our bill.  Her trial will be over before Congress has half purified itself.—­And doesn’t it occur to you that by the time it has expelled all its impure members there, may not be enough members left to do business legally?”