The very next day, sure enough, the campaign opened.  In due course, the Speaker of the House reached that Order of Business which is termed “Notices of Bills,” and then the Hon. Mr. Buckstone rose in his place and gave notice of a bill “To Found and Incorporate the Knobs Industrial University,” and then sat down without saying anything further.  The busy gentlemen in the reporters’ gallery jotted a line in their note-books, ran to the telegraphic desk in a room which communicated with their own writing-parlor, and then hurried back to their places in the gallery; and by the time they had resumed their seats, the line which they had delivered to the operator had been read in telegraphic offices in towns and cities hundreds of miles away.  It was distinguished by frankness of language as well as by brevity: 

“The child is born.  Buckstone gives notice of the thieving Knobs University job.  It is said the noses have been counted and enough votes have been bought to pass it.”

For some time the correspondents had been posting their several journals upon the alleged disreputable nature of the bill, and furnishing daily reports of the Washington gossip concerning it.  So the next morning, nearly every newspaper of character in the land assailed the measure and hurled broadsides of invective at Mr. Buckstone.  The Washington papers were more respectful, as usual—­and conciliatory, also, as usual.  They generally supported measures, when it was possible; but when they could not they “deprecated” violent expressions of opinion in other journalistic quarters.

They always deprecated, when there was trouble ahead.  However, ’The Washington Daily Love-Feast’ hailed the bill with warm approbation.  This was Senator Balaam’s paper—­or rather, “Brother” Balaam, as he was popularly called, for he had been a clergyman, in his day; and he himself and all that he did still emitted an odor of sanctity now that he had diverged into journalism and politics.  He was a power in the Congressional prayer meeting, and in all movements that looked to the spread of religion and temperance.

His paper supported the new bill with gushing affection; it was a noble measure; it was a just measure; it was a generous measure; it was a pure measure, and that surely should recommend it in these corrupt times; and finally, if the nature of the bill were not known at all, the ’Love Feast’ would support it anyway, and unhesitatingly, for the fact that Senator Dilworthy was the originator of the measure was a guaranty that it contemplated a worthy and righteous work.

Senator Dilworthy was so anxious to know what the New York papers would say about the bill; that he had arranged to have synopses of their editorials telegraphed to him; he could not wait for the papers themselves to crawl along down to Washington by a mail train which has never run over a cow since the road was built; for the reason that it has never been able to overtake one.  It carries the usual “cow-catcher” in front of the locomotive, but this is mere ostentation.  It ought to be attached to the rear car, where it could do some good; but instead, no provision is made there for the protection of the traveling public, and hence it is not a matter of surprise that cows so frequently climb aboard that train and among the passengers.