This fact it was, which more than anything else, convinced me that by plan and plot I was purposely made powerless in Mr. Winters’ hands, and that he did not mean to allow me that advantage of being afoot, which he possessed.  Moreover, I then became convinced, that Philip Lynch (and for what reason I wondered) would do absolutely nothing to protect me in his own house.  I realized then the situation thoroughly.  I had found it equally vain to protest or argue, and I would make no unmanly appeal for pity, still less apologize.  Yet my life had been by the plainest possible implication threatened.  I was a weak man.  I was unarmed.  I was helplessly down, and Winters was afoot and probably armed.  Lynch was the only “witness.”  The statements demanded, if given and not explained, would utterly sink me in my own self-respect, in my family’s eyes, and in the eyes of the community.  On the other hand, should I give the author’s name how could I ever expect that confidence of the People which I should no longer deserve, and how much dearer to me and to my family was my life than the life of the real author to his friends.  Yet life seemed dear and each minute that remained seemed precious if not solemn.  I sincerely trust that neither you nor any of your readers, and especially none with families, may ever be placed in such seeming direct proximity to death while obliged to decide the one question I was compelled to, viz.:  What should I do—­I, a man of family, and not as Mr. Winters is, “alone.” [The reader is requested not to skip the following.—­M.  T.:]

Strategy and mesmerism.  To gain time for further reflection, and hoping that by a seeming acquiescence I might regain my personal liberty, at least till I could give an alarm, or take advantage of some momentary inadvertence of Winters, and then without a cowardly flight escape, I resolved to write a certain kind of retraction, but previously had inwardly decided: 

First.—­That I would studiously avoid every action which might be construed into the drawing of a weapon, even by a self-infuriated man, no matter what amount of insult might be heaped upon me, for it seemed to me that this great excess of compound profanity, foulness and epithet must be more than a mere indulgence, and therefore must have some object.  “Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird.”  Therefore, as before without thought, I thereafter by intent kept my hands away from my pockets, and generally in sight and spread upon my knees.

Second.—­I resolved to make no motion with my arms or hands which could possibly be construed into aggression.

Third.—­I resolved completely to govern my outward manner and suppress indignation.  To do this, I must govern my spirit.  To do that, by force of imagination I was obliged like actors on the boards to resolve myself into an unnatural mental state and see all things through the eyes of an assumed character.