She was silent, therefore, and dismayed; and looked as though she thought that her ways and Mary’s ways must be different.
Mary saw all that was passing in the other’s mind: no, not all; all the hostility, the disappointment, the disapproval, the unhappiness, she did see; but not the under-current of love, which was strong enough to well up and drown all these, if only time could be allowed for it to do so.
‘I am so glad to have told you,’ said Mary, curbing herself, ’for deceit and hypocrisy are detestable.’
‘It was a misunderstanding, not deceit,’ said Beatrice.
’Well, now we understand each other; now you know that I have a heart within me, which like those of some others has not always been under my own control. Lady Arabella believes that I am intriguing to be the mistress of Greshamsbury. You, at any rate, will not think that of me. If it could be discovered to-morrow that Frank were not the heir, I might have some chance of happiness.’
‘But, Mary—’
‘Well?’
‘You say you love him.’
‘Yes; I do say so.’
‘But if he does not love you, will you cease to do so?’
’If I have a fever, I will get rid of it if I can; in such a case I must do so, or die.’
‘I fear,’ continued Beatrice, ’you hardly know, perhaps do not think, what is Frank’s real character. He is not made to settle down early in life; even now, I believe he is attached to some lady in London, whom, of course, he cannot marry.’
Beatrice had said this in perfect trueness of heart. She had heard of Frank’s new love-affair, and believing what she had heard, thought it best to tell the truth. But the information was not of a kind to quiet Mary’s spirit.
‘Very well,’ said she, ’let it be so. I have nothing to say against it.’
‘But are you not preparing wretchedness and unhappiness for yourself?’
‘Very likely.’
’Oh, Mary, do not be so cold with me! you know how delighted I should be to have you for a sister-in-law, if only it were possible.’
’Yes, Trichy; but it is impossible, is it not? Impossible that Francis Gresham of Greshamsbury should disgrace himself by marrying such a poor creature as I am. Of course I know it; of course, I am prepared for unhappiness and misery. He can amuse himself as he likes with me or others—with anybody. It is his privilege. It is quite enough to say that he is not made for settling down. I know my own position;—and yet I love him.’
‘But, Mary, has he asked you to be his wife? If so—’
’You ask home-questions, Beatrice. Let me ask you one; has he ever told you that he has done so?’
At this moment Beatrice was not disposed to repeat all that Frank had said. A year ago, before he went away, he had told his sister a score of times that he meant to marry Mary Thorne if she would have him; but Beatrice now looked on all that as idle, boyish vapouring. The pity was, that Mary should have looked on it differently.