The country was becoming too sophisticated, and the travelers hastened to the end of their journey.  The next morning Bristol, at first over a hilly country with magnificent oak-trees,—­happily not girdled, as these stately monarchs were often seen along the roads in North Carolina,—­and then up Beaver Creek, a turbid stream, turning some mills.  When a closed woolen factory was pointed out to the Professor (who was still traveling for Reform), as the result of the agitation in Congress, he said, Yes, the effect of agitation was evident in all the decayed dams and ancient abandoned mills we had seen in the past month.

Bristol is mainly one long street, with some good stores, but generally shabby, and on this hot morning sleepy.  One side of the street is in Tennessee, the other in Virginia.  How handy for fighting this would have been in the war, if Tennessee had gone out and Virginia stayed in.  At the hotel—­may a kind Providence wake it up to its responsibilities—­we had the pleasure of reading one of those facetious handbills which the great railway companies of the West scatter about, the serious humor of which is so pleasing to our English friends.  This one was issued by the accredited agents of the Ohio and Mississippi Railway, and dated April 1, 1984.  One sentence will suffice: 

“Allow us to thank our old traveling friends for the many favors in our line, and if you are going on your bridal trip, or to see your girl out West, drop in at the general office of the Ohio and Mississippi Railway and we will fix you up in Queen Anne style.  Passengers for Dakota, Montana, or the Northwest will have an overcoat and sealskin cap thrown in with all tickets sold on or after the above date.”

The great republic cannot yet take itself seriously.  Let us hope the humors of it will last another generation.  Meditating on this, we hailed at sundown the spires of Abingdon, and regretted the end of a journey that seems to have been undertaken for no purpose.

THE COMPLETE ESSAYS OF CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER

BACKLOG EDITION

THE COMPLETE WRITINGS

OF CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER

1904

CONTENTS OF THE ENTIRE VOLUME: 

As we were saying
   rose and chrysanthemum
   the red bonnet
   the loss in civilization
   social screaming
   does refinement kill individuality? 
   The Directoire gown
   the mystery of the sex
   the clothes of fiction
   the broad A
   chewing gum
   women in Congress