The Complete Memoirs of Jacques Casanova eBook

Giacomo Casanova
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 4,501 pages of information about The Complete Memoirs of Jacques Casanova.

The Complete Memoirs of Jacques Casanova eBook

Giacomo Casanova
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 4,501 pages of information about The Complete Memoirs of Jacques Casanova.
of rousing the dog, as from that door to that of her closet there was a distance of three or four yards.  Overwhelmed with grief, and unable to take a decision, I sat down on the last step of the stairs; but at day-break, chilled, benumbed, shivering with cold, afraid that the servant would see me and would think I was mad, I determined to go back to my room.  I arise, but at that very moment I hear some noise in Bettina’s room.  Certain that I am going to see her, and hope lending me new strength, I draw nearer to the door.  It opens; but instead of Bettina coming out I see Cordiani, who gives me such a furious kick in the stomach that I am thrown at a distance deep in the snow.  Without stopping a single instant Cordiani is off, and locks himself up in the room which he shared with the brothers Feltrini.

I pick myself up quickly with the intention of taking my revenge upon Bettina, whom nothing could have saved from the effects of my rage at that moment.  But I find her door locked; I kick vigorously against it, the dog starts a loud barking, and I make a hurried retreat to my room, in which I lock myself up, throwing myself in bed to compose and heal up my mind and body, for I was half dead.

Deceived, humbled, ill-treated, an object of contempt to the happy and triumphant Cordiani, I spent three hours ruminating the darkest schemes of revenge.  To poison them both seemed to me but a trifle in that terrible moment of bitter misery.  This project gave way to another as extravagant, as cowardly-namely, to go at once to her brother and disclose everything to him.  I was twelve years of age, and my mind had not yet acquired sufficient coolness to mature schemes of heroic revenge, which are produced by false feelings of honour; this was only my apprenticeship in such adventures.

I was in that state of mind when suddenly I heard outside of my door the gruff voice of Bettina’s mother, who begged me to come down, adding that her daughter was dying.  As I would have been very sorry if she had departed this life before she could feel the effects of my revenge, I got up hurriedly and went downstairs.  I found Bettina lying in her father’s bed writhing with fearful convulsions, and surrounded by the whole family.  Half dressed, nearly bent in two, she was throwing her body now to the right, now to the left, striking at random with her feet and with her fists, and extricating herself by violent shaking from the hands of those who endeavoured to keep her down.

With this sight before me, and the night’s adventure still in my mind, I hardly knew what to think.  I had no knowledge of human nature, no knowledge of artifice and tricks, and I could not understand how I found myself coolly witnessing such a scene, and composedly calm in the presence of two beings, one of whom I intended to kill and the other to dishonour.  At the end of an hour Bettina fell asleep.

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The Complete Memoirs of Jacques Casanova from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.