Saying those words, Yusuf pressed me affectionately in his arms, and left me by myself to avoid any answer I might be inclined to make.  I went away in such wonder at all I had just heard, that I found myself at the Venetian Embassy without knowing how I had reached it.  The baili thought me very pensive, and asked whether anything was the matter with me, but I did not feel disposed to gratify their curiosity.  I found that Yusuf had indeed spoken truly:  his proposal was of such importance that it was my duty, not only not to mention it to anyone, but even to abstain from thinking it over, until my mind had recovered its calm sufficiently to give me the assurance that no external consideration would weigh in the balance and influence my decision.  I had to silence all my passions; prejudices, principles already formed, love, and even self-interest were to remain in a state of complete inaction.

When I awoke the next morning I began to think the matter over, and I soon discovered that, if I wanted to come to a decision, I ought not to ponder over it, as the more I considered the less likely I should be to decide.  This was truly a case for the ‘sequere Deum’ of the Stoics.

I did not visit Yusuf for four days, and when I called on him on the fifth day, we talked cheerfully without once mentioning his proposal, although it was very evident that we were both thinking of it.  We remained thus for a fortnight, without ever alluding to the matter which engrossed all our thoughts, but our silence was not caused by dissimulation, or by any feeling contrary to our mutual esteem and friendship; and one day Yusuf suggested that very likely I had communicated his proposal to some wise friend, in order to obtain good advice.  I immediately assured him it was not so, and that in a matter of so delicate a nature I thought I ought not to ask anybody’s advice.

“I have abandoned myself to God, dear Yusuf, and, full of confidence in Him, I feel certain that I shall decide for the best, whether I make up my mind to become your son, or believe that I ought to remain what I am now.  In the mean time, my mind ponders over it day and night, whenever I am quiet and feel myself composed and collected.  When I come to a decision, I will impart it to you alone, and from that moment you shall have over me the authority of a father.”

At these words the worthy Yusuf, his eyes wet with tears, placed his left hand over my head, and the first two fingers of the right hand on my forehead, saying: 

“Continue to act in that way, my dear son, and be certain that you can never act wrongly.”

“But,” I said to him, “one thing might happen, Zelmi might not accept me.”

“Have no anxiety about that.  My daughter loves you; she, as well as my wife and her nurse, sees you every time that we dine together, and she listens to you with pleasure.”

“Does she know that you are thinking of giving her to me as my wife?”