He answered my question by the narrative of his imprisonment and flight, the whole story being a tissue of absurdities and lies.  The fugitive Recollet friar was a fool, with something of the wit of harlequin, and he thought that every man listening to him was a greater fool than himself.  Yet with all his folly he was not went in a certain species of cunning.  His religious principles were singular.  As he did not wish to be taken for a bigoted man he was scandalous, and for the sake of making people laugh he would often make use of the most disgusting expressions.  He had no taste whatever for women, and no inclination towards the pleasures of the flesh; but this was only owing to a deficiency in his natural temperament, and yet he claimed for himself the virtue of continence.  On that score, everything appeared to him food for merriment, and when he had drunk rather too much, he would ask questions of such an indecent character that they would bring blushes on everybody’s countenance.  Yet the brute would only laugh.

As we were getting within one hundred yards from the house of the devout friend whom he intended to honour with his visit, he took back his heavy cloak.  On entering the house he gave his blessing to everybody, and everyone in the family came to kiss his hand.  The mistress of the house requested him to say mass for them, and the compliant monk asked to be taken to the vestry, but when I whispered in his ear,—–­

“Have you forgotten that we have already broken our fast to-day?” he answered, dryly,—–­

“Mind your own business.”

I dared not make any further remark, but during the mass I was indeed surprised, for I saw that he did not understand what he was doing.  I could not help being amused at his awkwardness, but I had not yet seen the best part of the comedy.  As soon as he had somehow or other finished his mass he went to the confessional, and after hearing in confession every member of the family he took it into his head to refuse absolution to the daughter of his hostess, a girl of twelve or thirteen, pretty and quite charming.  He gave his refusal publicly, scolding her and threatening her with the torments of hell.  The poor girl, overwhelmed with shame, left the church crying bitterly, and I, feeling real sympathy for her, could not help saying aloud to Stephano that he was a madman.  I ran after the girl to offer her my consolations, but she had disappeared, and could not be induced to join us at dinner.  This piece of extravagance on the part of the monk exasperated me to such an extent that I felt a very strong inclination to thrash him.  In the presence of all the family I told him that he was an impostor, and the infamous destroyer of the poor child’s honour; I challenged him to explain his reasons for refusing to give her absolution, but he closed my lips by answering very coolly that he could not betray the secrets of the confessional.  I could eat nothing, and was fully determined to leave the scoundrel.  As we left the house I was compelled to accept one paolo as the price of the mock mass he had said.  I had to fulfil the sorry duty of his treasurer.