to debauchery, and it was my own doing!  I sighed when I thought how little I had spared them in our last orgie, and what would become of me if both of them should happen to be, by my doing, in such a position as to be compelled to run away from the convent?  I could imagine both of them thrown upon my hands, and the prospect was not particularly agreeable.  It would be an ’embarras de richesse’.  In this miserable contest between reason and prejudice, between nature and sentiment, I could not make up my mind either to go to the supper or to remain absent from it.  “If I go,” said I to myself, “that night will pass with perfect decency, but I shall prove myself very ridiculous, jealous, ungrateful, and even wanting in common politeness:  if I remain absent, C——­ C——­ is lost, at least, in my estimation, for I feel that my love will no longer exist, and then good-bye to all idea of a marriage with her.”  In the perplexity of mind in which I found myself, I felt a want of something more certain than mere probabilities to base my decision upon.  I put on my mask, and repaired to the mansion of the French ambassador.  I addressed myself to the gate-keeper, saying that I had a letter for Versailles, and that I would thank him to deliver it to the courier when he went back to France with his excellency’s dispatches.

“But, sir,” answered the man, “we have not had a special courier for the last two months:” 

“What?  Did not a special cabinet messenger arrive here last night?”

“Then he must have come in through the garret window or down the chimney, for, on the word of an honest man, none entered through the gate.”

“But the ambassador worked all night?”

“That may be, sir, but not here, for his excellency dined with the Spanish ambassador, and did not return till very late:” 

I had guessed rightly.  I could no longer entertain any doubt.  It was all over; I could not draw back without shame.  C——­ C——­ must resist, if the game was distasteful to her; no violence would of course be offered to her.  The die was cast!

Towards evening I went to the casino of Muran, and wrote a short note to M——­ M——­, requesting her to excuse me if some important business of M. de Bragadin’s prevented me from spending the night with her and with our two friends, to whom I sent my compliments as well as my apologies.  After that I returned to Venice, but in rather an unpleasant mood; to divert myself I went to the gaming table, and lost all night.

Two days afterwards, being certain that a letter from M——­ M——­ awaited me at Muran, I went over, and the door-keeper handed me a parcel in which I found a note from my nun and a letter from C——­ C——­, for everything was now in common between them.

Here is C——­ C——­’s letter”