our trio would be increased a hundredfold, for is
it not an unbearable misery to keep a secret from
the being we adore? I made you take my place,
and I thought that proceeding a masterpiece.
You allowed me to dress you as a nun, and with a compliance
which proves your confidence in me you went to my
casino without knowing where you were going. As
soon as you had landed, the gondola came back, and
I went to a place well known to our friend from which,
without being seen, I could follow all your movements
and hear everything you said. I was the author
of the play; it was natural that I should witness
it, the more so that I felt certain of seeing and
hearing nothing that would not be very agreeable to
me. I reached the casino a quarter of an hour
after you, and I cannot tell you my delightful surprise
when I saw that dear Pierrot who had amused us so
much, and whom we had not recognized. But I was
fated to feel no other pleasure than that of his appearance.
Fear, surprise, and anxiety overwhelmed me at once
when I saw the effect produced upon him by the disappointment
of his expectation, and I felt unhappy. Our lover
took the thing wrongly, and he went away in despair;
he loves me still, but if he thinks of me it is only
to try to forget me. Alas! he will succeed but
too soon! By sending back that key he proves that
he will never again go to the casino. Fatal night!
When my only wish was to minister to the happiness
of three persons, how is it that the very reverse of
my wish has occurred? It will kill me, dear friend,
unless you contrive to make him understand reason,
for I feel that without him I cannot live. You
must have the means of writing to him, you know him,
you know his name. In the name of all goodness,
send back this key to him with a letter to persuade
him to come to the casino to-morrow or on the following
day, if it is only to speak to me; and I hope to convince
him of my love and my innocence. Rest to-day,
dearest, but to-morrow write to him, tell him the
whole truth; take pity on your poor friend, and forgive
her for loving your lover. I shall write a few
lines myself; you will enclose them in your letter.
It is my fault if he no longer loves you; you ought
to hate me, and yet you are generous enough to love
me. I adore you; I have seen his tears, I have
seen how well his soul can love; I know him now.
I could not have believed that men were able to love
so much. I have passed a terrible night.
Do not think I am angry, dear friend, because you
confided to him that we love one another like two lovers;
it does not displease me, and with him it was no indiscretion,
because his mind is as free of prejudices as his heart
is good.’
“Tears were choking her. I tried to console her, and I most willingly promised her to write to you. She never closed her eyes throughout that day, but I slept soundly for four hours.