frozen the love you had just sent through my being.
Now, however, the case is very different. I know
all I possess in you, and, from all you have told
me of your lover, I am well disposed towards him,
and I believe him to be my friend. If a feeling
of modesty does not deter you from shewing yourself
tender, loving, and full of amorous ardour with me
in his presence, how could I be ashamed, when, on the
contrary, I ought to feel proud of myself? I
have no reason to blush at having made a conquest
of you, or at shewing myself in those moments during
which I prove the liberality with which nature has
bestowed upon me the shape and the strength which
assure such immense enjoyment to me, besides the certainty
that I can make the woman I love share it with me.
I am aware that, owing to a feeling which is called
natural, but which is perhaps only the result of civilization
and the effect of the prejudices inherent in youth,
most men object to any witness in those moments, but
those who cannot give any good reasons for their repugnance
must have in their nature something of the cat.
At the same time, they might have some excellent reasons,
without their thinking themselves bound to give them,
except to the woman, who is easily deceived. I
excuse with all my heart those who know that they
would only excite the pity of the witnesses, but we
both have no fear of that sort. All you have told
me of your friend proves that he will enjoy our pleasures.
But do you know what will be the result of it?
The intensity of our ardour will excite his own, and
he will throw himself at my feet, begging and entreating
me to give up to him the only object likely to calm
his amorous excitement. What could I do in that
case? Give you up? I could hardly refuse
to do so with good grace, but I would go away, for
I could not remain a quiet spectator.
“Farewell, my darling love; all will be well,
I have no doubt. Prepare yourself for the athletic
contest, and rely upon the fortunate being who adores
you.”
I spent the six following days with my three worthy
friends, and at the ‘ridotto’, which at
that time was opened on St. Stephen’s Day.
As I could not hold the cards there, the patricians
alone having the privilege of holding the bank, I
played morning and evening, and I constantly lost;
for whoever punts must lose. But the loss of the
four or five thousand sequins I possessed, far from
cooling my love, seemed only to increase its ardour.
At the end of the year 1774 the Great Council promulgated
a law forbidding all games of chance, the first effect
of which was to close the ‘ridotto’.
This law was a real phenomenon, and when the votes
were taken out of the urn the senators looked at each
other with stupefaction. They had made the law
unwittingly, for three-fourths of the voters objected
to it, and yet three-fourths of the votes were in favour
of it. People said that it was a miracle of St.
Mark’s, who had answered the prayers of Monsignor
Flangini, then censor-in-chief, now cardinal, and
one of the three State Inquisitors.