“Do we make a mystery of it?  Everybody can see that we love each other, and those who think that we do not enjoy the happiness of lovers are precisely the only persons we have to fear.  We must only be careful to guard against being surprised in the very act of proving our love.  Heaven and nature must protect our affection, for there is no crime when two hearts are blended in true love.  Since I have been conscious of my own existence, Love has always seemed to me the god of my being, for every time I saw a man I was delighted; I thought that I was looking upon one-half of myself, because I felt I was made for him and he for me.  I longed to be married.  It was that uncertain longing of the heart which occupies exclusively a young girl of fifteen.  I had no conception of love, but I fancied that it naturally accompanied marriage.  You can therefore imagine my surprise when my husband, in the very act of making a woman of me, gave me a great deal of pain without giving me the slightest idea of pleasure!  My imagination in the convent was much better than the reality I had been condemned to by my husband!  The result has naturally been that we have become very good friends, but a very indifferent husband and wife, without any desires for each other.  He has every reason to be pleased with me, for I always shew myself docile to his wishes, but enjoyment not being in those cases seasoned by love, he must find it without flavour, and he seldom comes to me for it.

“When I found out that you were in love with me, I felt delighted, and gave you every opportunity of becoming every day more deeply enamoured of me, thinking myself certain of never loving you myself.  As soon as I felt that love had likewise attacked my heart, I ill-treated you to punish you for having made my heart sensible.  Your patience and constancy have astonished me, and have caused me to be guilty, for after the first kiss I gave you I had no longer any control over myself.  I was indeed astounded when I saw the havoc made by one single kiss, and I felt that my happiness was wrapped up in yours.  That discovery flattered and delighted me, and I have found out, particularly to-night, that I cannot be happy unless you are so yourself.”

“That is, my beloved, the most refined of all sentiments experienced by love, but it is impossible for you to render me completely happy without following in everything the laws and the wishes of nature.”

The night was spent in tender discussions and in exquisite voluptuousness, and it was not without some grief that at day-break I tore myself from her arms to go to Gouyn.  She wept for joy when she saw that I left her without having lost a particle of my vigour, for she did not imagine such a thing possible.

After that night, so rich in delights, ten or twelve days passed without giving us any opportunity of quenching even a small particle of the amorous thirst which devoured us, and it was then that a fearful misfortune befell me.