My conclusion was that M. F——­ had asked M. D——­ R——­ to let me go with him at the suggestion of his wife, or, at least with her consent, and it was highly flattering to my love and to my vanity.  But I was bound in honour not to accept the post, unless I had a perfect assurance that it would not be disagreeable to my present patron.  “I will accept,” I said to myself, “if M. D——­ R——­ tells me positively that I shall please him by doing so.  It is for M. F to make him say it.”

On the same night I had the honour of offering my arm to Madame F—–­during the procession which takes place in commemoration of the death of our Lord and Saviour, which was then attended on foot by all the nobility.  I expected she would mention the matter, but she did not.  My love was in despair, and through the night I could not close my eyes.  I feared she had been offended by my refusal, and was overwhelmed with grief.  I passed the whole of the next day without breaking my fast, and did not utter a single word during the evening reception.  I felt very unwell, and I had an attack of fever which kept me in bed on Easter Sunday.  I was very weak on the Monday, and intended to remain in my room, when a messenger from Madame F——­ came to inform me that she wished to see me.  I told the messenger not to say that he had found me in bed, and dressing myself rapidly I hurried to her house.  I entered her room, pale, looking very ill:  yet she did not enquire after my health, and kept silent a minute or two, as if she had been trying to recollect what she had to say to me.

“Ah! yes, you are aware that our adjutant is dead, and that we want to replace him.  My husband, who has a great esteem for you, and feels that M. D——­ R——­ leaves you perfectly free to make your choice, has taken the singular fancy that you will come, if I ask you myself to do us that pleasure.  Is he mistaken?  If you would come to us, you would have that room.”

She was pointing to a room adjoining the chamber in which she slept, and so situated that, to see her in every part of her room, I should not even require to place myself at the window.

“M.  D---- R-----,” she continued, “will not love you less, and as he will
see you here every, day, he will not be likely to forget his interest in
your welfare.  Now, tell me, will you come or not?”

“I wish I could, madam, but indeed I cannot.”

“You cannot?  That is singular.  Take a seat, and tell me what there is to prevent you, when, in accepting my offer, you are sure to please M. D——­ R——­ as well as us.”

“If I were certain of it, I would accept immediately; but all I have heard from his lips was that he left me free to make a choice.”

“Then you are afraid to grieve him, if you come to us?”

“It might be, and for nothing on earth....”

“I am certain of the contrary.”

“Will you be so good as to obtain that he says so to me himself?”