German.  Cigarren!

Waiter.  ‘Komm’ gleich’!

Englishman. [Consulting watch] Train’s late.

ENGLISHWOMAN.  Really!  Nuisance!

     [A station policeman, very square and uniformed, passes and
     repasses.]

American. [Resuming his seat—­to the German] Now, we don’t have so much of that in America.  Guess we feel more to trust in human nature.

German.  Ah! ha! you will bresently find there is nothing in him but self.

Little man. [Wistfully] Don’t you believe in human nature?

American.  Very stimulating question.

     [He looks round for opinions.  The Dutch Youth laughs.]

Englishman. [Holding out his half of the paper to his wife] Swap!

     [His wife swaps.]

German.  In human nature I believe so far as I can see him—­no more.

American.  Now that ‘pears to me kind o’ blasphemy.  I believe in heroism.  I opine there’s not one of us settin’ around here that’s not a hero—­give him the occasion.

Little man.  Oh!  Do you believe that?

American.  Well!  I judge a hero is just a person that’ll help another at the expense of himself.  Take that poor woman there.  Well, now, she’s a heroine, I guess.  She would die for her baby any old time.

German.  Animals will die for their babies.  That is nothing.

American.  I carry it further.  I postulate we would all die for that baby if a locomotive was to trundle up right here and try to handle it. [To the German] I guess you don’t know how good you are. [As the German is twisting up the ends of his moustache—­to the ENGLISHWOMAN] I should like to have you express an opinion, ma’am.

ENGLISHWOMAN.  I beg your pardon.

American.  The English are very humanitarian; they have a very high sense of duty.  So have the Germans, so have the Americans. [To the Dutch Youth] I judge even in your little country they have that.  This is an epoch of equality and high-toned ideals. [To the little man] What is your nationality, sir?

Little man.  I’m afraid I’m nothing particular.  My father was half-English and half-American, and my mother half-German and half-Dutch.

American.  My!  That’s a bit streaky, any old way. [The policeman passes again] Now, I don’t believe we’ve much use any more for those gentlemen in buttons.  We’ve grown kind of mild—­we don’t think of self as we used to do.

     [The waiter has appeared in the doorway.]

German. [In a voice of thunder] ‘Cigarren!  Donnerwetter’!

American. [Shaking his fist at the vanishing waiter] That flash of beer!