Press. [Doubtfully] You mean we’re—­we’re——­

Lord W. No, really.  You have such a d—–­d hard time.  It must be perfectly beastly to interview fellows like me.

Press.  Oh!  Not at all, Lord William.  Not at all.  I assure you compared with a literary man, it’s—­it’s almost heavenly.

Lord W. You must have a wonderful knowledge of things.

Press. [Bridling a little] Well—­I shouldn’t say that.

Lord W. I don’t see how you can avoid it.  You turn your hands to everything.

Press. [Modestly] Well—­yes, Yes.

Lord W. I say:  Is there really going to be a revolution, or are you making it up, you Press?

Press.  We don’t know.  We never know whether we come before the event, or it comes before us.

Lord W. That’s—­very deep—­very dip.  D’you mind lending me your note-book a moment.  I’d like to stick that down.  All right, I’ll use the other end. [The press hands it hypnotically.]

Lord W. [Jotting] Thanks awfully.  Now what’s your real opinion of the situation?

Press.  As a man or a Press man?

Lord W. Is there any difference?

Press.  Is there any connection?

Lord W. Well, as a man.

Press.  As a man, I think it’s rotten.

Lord W. [Jotting] “Rotten.”  And as a pressman?

Press. [Smiling] Prime.

Lord W. What!  Like a Stilton cheese.  Ha, ha!

     [He is about to write.]

Press.  My stunt, Lord William.  You said that.

     [He jots it on his cuff.]

Lord W. But look here!  Would you say that a strong press movement would help to quiet the country?

Press.  Well, as you ask me, Lord William, I’ll tell you.  No newspapers for a month would do the trick.

Lord W. [Jotting] By Jove!  That’s brilliant.

Press.  Yes, but I should starve. [He suddenly looks up, and his eyes, like gimlets, bore their way into lord WILLIAM’S pleasant, troubled face] Lord William, you could do me a real kindness.  Authorise me to go and interview the fellow who left the bomb here; I’ve got his address.  I promise you to do it most discreetly.  Fact is—­well—­I’m in low water.  Since the war we simply can’t get sensation enough for the new taste.  Now, if I could have an article headed:  “Bombed and Bomber”—­sort of double interview, you know, it’d very likely set me on my legs again. [Very earnestly] Look! [He holds out his frayed wristbands.]

Lord W. [Grasping his hand] My dear chap, certainly.  Go and interview this blighter, and then bring him round here.  You can do that for one.  I’d very much like to see him, as a matter of fact.