Colonel. [Freezingly.] Indeed!

Ernest. He’s not at all the sort of Johnny that appeals to me.

Colonel.  Really?

Ernest. [Unmoved.] If I were you, Colonel, I should tip her the wink.  He was hanging about her at Ascot all the time.  It ’s a bit thick!

     [Mrs. Hope followed by Rose appears from the house.]

Colonel. [Stammering with passion.] Jackanapes!

Mrs. Hope.  Don’t stand there, Tom; clear those papers, and let Rose lay the table.  Now, Ernest, go and get another chair.

     [The Colonel looks wildly round and sits beneath the hollow
     tree, with his head held in his hands.  Rose lays the cloth.]

Mrs. Beech. [Sitting beside the Colonel.] Poor creature!

Ernest. [Carrying his chair about with him.] Ask any Johnny in the City, he ’ll tell you Mexico’s a very tricky country—­the people are awful rotters

Mrs. Hope.  Put that chair down, Ernest.

     [Ernest looks at the chair, puts it down, opens his mouth, and
     goes away.  Rose follows him.]

What’s he been talking about?  You oughtn’t to get so excited, Tom; is your head bad, old man?  Here, take these papers! [She hands the papers to the Colonel.] Peachey, go in and tell them tea ’ll be ready in a minute, there ’s a good soul?  Oh! and on my dressing table you’ll find a bottle of Eau de Cologne.

Mrs. Beech.  Don’t let him get in a temper again.  That ’s three times to-day!

     [She goes towards the house. ]

Colonel.  Never met such a fellow in my life, the most opinionated, narrow-minded—­thinks he knows everything.  Whatever Letty could see in him I can’t think.  Pragmatical beggar!

Mrs. Hope.  Now Tom!  What have you been up to, to get into a state like this?

Colonel. [Avoiding her eyes.] I shall lose my temper with him one of these days.  He’s got that confounded habit of thinking nobody can be right but himself.

Mrs. Hope.  That’s enough!  I want to talk to you seriously!  Dick’s in love.  I’m perfectly certain of it.

Colonel.  Love!  Who’s he in love with—­Peachey?

Mrs. Hope.  You can see it all over him.  If I saw any signs of Joy’s breaking out, I’d send them both away.  I simply won’t have it.

Colonel.  Why, she’s a child!

Mrs. Hope. [Pursuing her own thoughts.] But she isn’t—­not yet.  I’ve been watching her very carefully.  She’s more in love with her Mother than any one, follows her about like a dog!  She’s been quite rude to Mr. Lever.

Colonel. [Pursuing his own thoughts.] I don’t believe a word of it.