The truth is that after the death of Hans, like to Queen Sheba when she had surveyed the wonders of Solomon’s court, there was no more spirit in me.  For quite a long while I did not seem to care at all what happened to me or to anybody else.  We buried him in a place of honour, exactly where he shot Jana before the gateway of the second court, and when the earth was thrown over his little yellow face I felt as though half my past had departed with him into that hole.  Poor drunken old Hans, where in the world shall I find such another man as you were?  Where in the world shall I find so much love as filled the cup of that strange heart of yours?

I dare say it is a form of selfishness, but what every man desires is something that cares for him alone, which is just why we are so fond of dogs.  Now Hans was a dog with a human brain and he cared for me alone.  Often our vanity makes us think that this has happened to some of us in the instance of one or more women.  But honest and quiet reflection may well cause us to doubt the truth of such supposings.  The woman who as we believed adored us solely has probably in the course of her career adored others, or at any rate other things.

To take but one instance, that of Mameena, the Zulu lady whom Hans thought he saw in the Shades.  She, I believe, did me the honour to be very fond of me, but I am convinced that she was fonder still of her ambition.  Now Hans never cared for any living creature, or for any human hope or object, as he cared for me.  There was no man or woman whom he would not have cheated, or even murdered for my sake.  There was no earthly advantage, down to that of life itself, that he would not, and in the end did not forgo for my sake; witness the case of his little fortune which he invested in my rotten gold mine and thought nothing of losing—­for my sake.

That is love in excelsis, and the man who has succeeded in inspiring it in any creature, even in a low, bibulous, old Hottentot, may feel proud indeed.  At least I am proud and as the years go by the pride increases, as the hope grows that somewhere in the quiet of that great plain which he saw in his dream, I may find the light of Hans’s love burning like a beacon in the darkness, as he promised I should do, and that it may guide and warm my shivering, new-born soul before I dare the adventure of the Infinite.

Meanwhile, since the sublime and the ridiculous are so very near akin, I often wonder how he and Mameena settled that question of her right to the royal salute.  Perhaps I shall learn one day—­indeed already I have had a hint of it.  If so, even in the blaze of a new and universal Truth, I am certain that their stories will differ wildly.