Pasha.—­The Englishman is welcome; most blessed among hours is this, the hour of his coming.

Dragoman (to the traveller).—­The Pasha pays you his compliments.

Traveller.—­Give him my best compliments in return, and say I’m delighted to have the honour of seeing him.

Dragoman (to the Pasha).—­His lordship, this Englishman, Lord of London, Scorner of Ireland, Suppressor of France, has quitted his governments, and left his enemies to breathe for a moment, and has crossed the broad waters in strict disguise, with a small but eternally faithful retinue of followers, in order that he might look upon the bright countenance of the Pasha among Pashas—­the Pasha of the everlasting Pashalik of Karagholookoldour.

Traveller (to his dragoman).—­What on earth have you been saying about London?  The Pasha will be taking me for a mere cockney.  Have not I told you always to say that I am from a branch of the family of Mudcombe Park, and that I am to be a magistrate for the county of Bedfordshire, only I’ve not qualified, and that I should have been a deputy-lieutenant if it had not been for the extraordinary conduct of Lord Mountpromise, and that I was a candidate for Goldborough at the last election, and that I should have won easy if my committee had not been bought.  I wish to Heaven that if you do say anything about me, you’d tell the simple truth.

Dragoman [is silent].

Pasha.—­What says the friendly Lord of London? is there aught that
I can grant him within the Pashalik of Karagholookoldour?

Dragoman (growing, sulky and literal).—­This friendly Englishman—­ this branch of Mudcombe—­this head-purveyor of Goldborough—­this possible policeman of Bedfordshire, is recounting his achievements, and the number of his titles.

Pasha.—­The end of his honours is more distant than the ends of the earth, and the catalogue of his glorious deeds is brighter than the firmament of heaven!

Dragoman (to the traveller).—­The Pasha congratulates your Excellency.

Traveller.—­About Goldborough?  The deuce he does!—­but I want to get at his views in relation to the present state of the Ottoman Empire.  Tell him the Houses of Parliament have met, and that there has been a speech from the throne, pledging England to preserve the integrity of the Sultan’s dominions.

Dragoman (to the Pasha).—­This branch of Mudcombe, this possible policeman of Bedfordshire, informs your Highness that in England the talking houses have met, and that the integrity of the Sultan’s dominions has been assured for ever and ever by a speech from the velvet chair.

Pasha.—­Wonderful chair!  Wonderful houses!—­whirr! whirr! all by wheels!—­whiz! whiz! all by steam!—­wonderful chair! wonderful houses! wonderful people!—­whirr! whirr! all by wheels!—­whiz! whiz! all by steam!

Traveller (to the dragoman).—­What does the Pasha mean by that whizzing? he does not mean to say, does he, that our Government will ever abandon their pledges to the Sultan?