to which he had no objection. As soon as the
vessel had sailed, the hapless passenger discovered
that his skipper carried on board an enormous wife,
with an inquiring mind and an irresistible tendency
to impart her opinions. She looked upon her
guest as upon a piece of waste intellect that ought
to be carefully tilled. She tilled him accordingly.
If the dons at Oxford could have seen poor Carrigaholt
thus absolutely “attending lectures” in
the Bay of Biscay, they would surely have thought
him sufficiently punished for all the wrongs he did
them whilst he was preparing himself under their care
for the other and more boisterous University.
The voyage did not last more than six or eight weeks,
and the philosophy inflicted on Carrigaholt was not
entirely fatal to him; certainly he was somewhat emaciated,
and for aught I know, he may have subscribed somewhat
too largely to the “Feminine-right-of-reason
Society”; but it did not appear that his health
had been seriously affected. There was a scheme
on foot, it would seem, for taking the passenger back
to England in the same schooner—a scheme,
in fact, for keeping him perpetually afloat, and perpetually
saturated with arguments; but when Carrigaholt found
himself ashore, and remembered that the skipperina
(who had imprudently remained on board) was not there
to enforce her suggestions, he was open to the hints
of his servant (a very sharp fellow), who arranged
a plan for escaping, and finally brought off his master
to Giuseppini’s Hotel.
Our friend afterwards went by sea to Smyrna, and there
he now was in his glory. He had a good, or at
all events a gentleman-like, judgment in matters of
taste, and as his great object was to surround himself
with all that his fancy could dictate, he lived in
a state of perpetual negotiation. He was for
ever on the point of purchasing, not only the material
productions of the place, but all sorts of such fine
ware as “intelligence,” “fidelity,”
and so on. He was most curious, however, as the
purchaser of the “affections.” Sometimes
he would imagine that he had a marital aptitude, and
his fancy would sketch a graceful picture, in which
he appeared reclining on a divan, with a beautiful
Greek woman fondly couched at his feet, and soothing
him with the witchery of her guitar. Having satisfied
himself with the ideal picture thus created, he would
pass into action; the guitar he would buy instantly,
and would give such intimations of his wish to be
wedded to a Greek, as could not fail to produce great
excitement in the families, of the beautiful Smyrniotes.
Then again (and just in time perhaps to save him
from the yoke) his dream would pass away, and another
would come in its stead; he would suddenly feel the
yearnings of a father’s love, and willing by
force of gold to transcend all natural preliminaries,
he would issue instructions for the purchase of some
dutiful child that could be warranted to love him as
a parent. Then at another time he would be convinced