There are but two subjects upon which one may discourse with a free imagination, and without the possibility of being controverted.  You may talk of your dreams; and you may tell what you heard a parrot say.  Both Morpheus and the bird are incompetent witnesses; and your listener dare not attack your recital.  The baseless fabric of a vision, then, shall furnish my theme—­chosen with apologies and regrets instead of the more limited field of pretty Polly’s small talk.

I had a dream that was so far removed from the higher criticism that it had to do with the ancient, respectable, and lamented bar-of-judgment theory.

Gabriel had played his trump; and those of us who could not follow suit were arraigned for examination.  I noticed at one side a gathering of professional bondsmen in solemn black and collars that buttoned behind; but it seemed there was some trouble about their real estate titles; and they did not appear to be getting any of us out.

A fly cop—­an angel policeman—­flew over to me and took me by the left wing.  Near at hand was a group of very prosperous-looking spirits arraigned for judgment.

“Do you belong with that bunch?” the policeman asked.

“Who are they?” was my answer.

“Why,” said he, “they are—­”

But this irrelevant stuff is taking up space that the story should occupy.

Dulcie worked in a department store.  She sold Hamburg edging, or stuffed peppers, or automobiles, or other little trinkets such as they keep in department stores.  Of what she earned, Dulcie received six dollars per week.  The remainder was credited to her and debited to somebody else’s account in the ledger kept by G——­ Oh, primal energy, you say, Reverend Doctor—­Well then, in the Ledger of Primal Energy.

During her first year in the store, Dulcie was paid five dollars per week.  It would be instructive to know how she lived on that amount.  Don’t care?  Very well; probably you are interested in larger amounts.  Six dollars is a larger amount.  I will tell you how she lived on six dollars per week.

One afternoon at six, when Dulcie was sticking her hat-pin within an eighth of an inch of her medulla oblongata, she said to her chum, Sadie—­the girl that waits on you with her left side: 

“Say, Sade, I made a date for dinner this evening with Piggy.”

“You never did!” exclaimed Sadie admiringly.  “Well, ain’t you the lucky one?  Piggy’s an awful swell; and he always takes a girl to swell places.  He took Blanche up to the Hoffman House one evening, where they have swell music, and you see a lot of swells.  You’ll have a swell time, Dulce.”

Dulcie hurried homeward.  Her eyes were shining, and her cheeks showed the delicate pink of life’s—­real life’s—­approaching dawn.  It was Friday; and she had fifty cents left of her last week’s wages.