from prison. And this was all so unusual with
Barbara, whose body was too perfect, too sanely governed
by the flow of her blood not to revel in the moment
and the things thereof. She knew it was unusual.
After her ride she avoided lunch, and walked out into
the lanes. But about two o’clock, feeling
very hungry, she went into a farmhouse, and asked
for milk. There, in the kitchen, like young
jackdaws in a row with their mouths a little open,
were the three farm boys, seated on a bench gripped
to the alcove of the great fire-way, munching bread
and cheese. Above their heads a gun was hung,
trigger upwards, and two hams were mellowing in the
smoke. At the feet of a black-haired girl, who
was slicing onions, lay a sheep dog of tremendous
age, with nose stretched out on paws, and in his little
blue eyes a gleam of approaching immortality.
They all stared at, Barbara. And one of the
boys, whose face had the delightful look of him who
loses all sense of other things in what he is seeing
at the moment, smiled, and continued smiling, with
sheer pleasure. Barbara drank her milk, and wandered
out again; passing through a gate at the bottom of
a steep, rocky tor, she sat down on a sun-warmed stone.
The sunlight fell greedily on her here, like an invisible
swift hand touching her all over, and specially caressing
her throat and face. A very gentle wind, which
dived over the tor tops into the young fern; stole
down at her, spiced with the fern sap. All was
warmth and peace, and only the cuckoos on the far thorn
trees—as though stationed by the Wistful
Master himself—were there to disturb her
heart: But all the sweetness and piping of the
day did not soothe her. In truth, she could
not have said what was the matter, except that she
felt so discontented, and as it were empty of all but
a sort of aching impatience with—what exactly
she could not say. She had that rather dreadful
feeling of something slipping by which she could not
catch. It was so new to her to feel like that—for
no girl was less given to moods and repinings.
And all the time a sort of contempt for this soft
and almost sentimental feeling made her tighten her
lips and frown. She felt distrustful and sarcastic
towards a mood so utterly subversive of that fetich
‘Hardness,’ to the unconscious worship
of which she had been brought up. To stand no
sentiment or nonsense either in herself or others
was the first article of faith; not to slop-over anywhere.
So that to feel as she did was almost horrible to
Barbara. Yet she could not get rid of the sensation.
With sudden recklessness she tried giving herself
up to it entirely. Undoing the scarf at her throat,
she let the air play on her bared neck, and stretched
out her arms as if to hug the wind to her; then, with
a sigh, she got up, and walked on. And now she
began thinking of ‘Anonyma’; turning her
position over and over. The idea that anyone
young and beautiful should thus be clipped off in her
life, roused her impatient indignation. Let them