if, while explaining my conduct to you, this confession
would not have given you greater confidence in me.
Yes, for seven years I have loved you, but as one
loves a star that one can never reach, a madonna to
whom one can only pray; for seven years I have followed
you everywhere without you ever having paid attention
to me, without my saying a word or making a gesture
to attract your notice. I was on the knight
of Mevillon’s galley when you crossed to Scotland;
I was among the regent’s soldiers when you beat
Huntly; I was in the escort which accompanied you
when you went to see the sick king at Glasgow; I reached
Edinburgh an hour after you had left it for Lochleven;
and then it seemed to me that my mission was revealed
to me for the first time, and that this love for which
till then, I had reproached myself as a crime, was
on the contrary a favour from God. I learned
that the lords were assembled at Dumbarton: I
flew thither. I pledged my name, I pledged my
honour, I pledged my life; and I obtained from them,
thanks to the facility I had for coming into this
fortress, the happiness of bringing you the paper
they have just signed. Now, madam, forget all
I have told you, except the assurance of my devotion
and respect: forget that I am near you; I am
used to not being seen: only, if you have need
of my life, make a sign; for seven years my life has
been yours.”
“Alas!” replied Mary, “I was complaining
this morning of no longer being loved, and I ought
to complain, on the contrary, that I am still loved;
for the love that I inspire is fatal and mortal.
Look back, Douglas, and count the tombs that, young
as I am, I have already left on my path—Francis
II, Chatelard, Rizzio, Darnley.... Oh to attach
one’s self to my fortunes more than love is
needed now heroism and devotion are requisite so much
the more that, as you have said, Douglas, it is love
without any possible reward. Do you understand?”
“Oh, madam, madam,” answered Douglas,
“is it not reward beyond my deserts to see you
daily, to cherish the hope that liberty will be restored
to you through me, and to have at least, if I do not
give it you, the certainty of dying in your sight?”
“Poor young man!” murmured Mary, her eyes
raised to heaven, as if she were reading there beforehand
the fate awaiting her new defender.
“Happy Douglas, on the contrary,” cried
George, seizing the queen’s hand and kissing
it with perhaps still more respect than love, “happy
Douglas! for in obtaining a sigh from your Majesty
he has already obtained more than he hoped.”
“And upon what have you decided with my friends?”
said the queen, raising Douglas, who till then had
remained on his knees before her.