“’Entire party captured by brigand tribe on homeward journey.  Quarter
   of million demanded as ransom, but would probably take less.  Inform
   Government, relations, and friends.’

“There followed the signatures of the principal members of the party and instructions as to how and where the money was to be paid.

“The letter had been directed to the office-boy-in-charge, who had quietly suppressed it.  No one is a hero to one’s own office-boy, and he evidently considered that a quarter of a million was an unwarrantable outlay for such a doubtfully advantageous object as the repatriation of an errant newspaper staff.  So he drew the editorial and other salaries, forged what signatures were necessary, engaged new reporters, did what sub-editing he could, and made as much use as possible of the large accumulation of special articles that was held in reserve for emergencies.  The articles on foreign affairs were entirely his own composition.

“Of course the whole thing had to be kept as quiet as possible; an interim staff, pledged to secrecy, was appointed to keep the paper going till the pining captives could be sought out, ransomed, and brought home, in twos and threes to escape notice, and gradually things were put back on their old footing.  The articles on foreign affairs reverted to the wonted traditions of the paper.”

“But,” interposed the nephew, “how on earth did the boy account to the relatives all those months for the non-appearance—­”

“That,” said Sir Lulworth, “was the most brilliant stroke of all.  To the wife or nearest relative of each of the missing men he forwarded a letter, copying the handwriting of the supposed writer as well as he could, and making excuses about vile pens and ink; in each letter he told the same story, varying only the locality, to the effect that the writer, alone of the whole party, was unable to tear himself away from the wild liberty and allurements of Eastern life, and was going to spend several months roaming in some selected region.  Many of the wives started off immediately in pursuit of their errant husbands, and it took the Government a considerable time and much trouble to reclaim them from their fruitless quests along the banks of the Oxus, the Gobi Desert, the Orenburg steppe, and other outlandish places.  One of them, I believe, is still lost somewhere in the Tigris Valley.”

“And the boy?”

“Is still in journalism.”

THE BYZANTINE OMELETTE

Sophie Chattel-Monkheim was a Socialist by conviction and a Chattel-Monkheim by marriage.  The particular member of that wealthy family whom she had married was rich, even as his relatives counted riches.  Sophie had very advanced and decided views as to the distribution of money:  it was a pleasing and fortunate circumstance that she also had the money.  When she inveighed eloquently against the evils of capitalism at drawing-room meetings and Fabian conferences she was conscious of a comfortable feeling that the system, with all its inequalities and iniquities, would probably last her time.  It is one of the consolations of middle-aged reformers that the good they inculcate must live after them if it is to live at all.