the achievements of many more respectable ladies in
her shoes. At least she never bemoaned her “reduced
circumstances,” and if her life was irregular
and had at least three episodes, it was very human.
She bravely took the rough with the smooth, never
lost the power of enjoying herself, and grew in sympathy
with the hardships of others. But she became deadly
tired. When the war broke out, remembering that
she was a good nurse, she took her real name again
and a change of occupation. For one who liked
to please men, and to be pleased by them, there was
a certain attraction about that life in war-time;
and after two years of it she could still appreciate
the way her Tommies turned their heads to look at
her when she passed their beds. But in a hard
school she had learned perfect self-control; and though
the sour and puritanical perceived her attraction,
they knew her to be forty-three. Besides, the
soldiers liked her; and there was little trouble in
her wards. The war moved her in simple ways;
for she was patriotic in the direct fashion of her
class. Her father had been a sailor, her husbands
an official and a soldier; the issue for her was uncomplicated
by any abstract meditation. The Country before
everything! And though she had tended during
those two years so many young wrecked bodies, she
had taken it as all in the a day’s work, lavishing
her sympathy on the individual, without much general
sense of pity and waste. Yes, she had worked
really hard, had “done her bit”; but of
late she had felt rising within her the old vague
craving for “life,” for pleasure, for
something more than the mere negative admiration bestowed
on her by her “Tommies.” Those old
letters—to look them through them had been
a sure sign of this vague craving—had sharpened
to poignancy the feeling that life was slipping away
from her while she was still comely. She had
been long out of England, and so hard-worked since
she came back that there were not many threads she
could pick up suddenly. Two letters out of that
little budget of the past, with a far cry between them,
had awakened within her certain sentimental longings.
“
Dear lady of the starry
flowers,
“Exiturus (sic) to saluto! The tender
carries you this message of good-bye. Simply
speaking, I hate leaving South Africa. And of
all my memories, the last will live the longest.
Grape harvest at Constantia, and you singing:
’If I could be the falling dew: If ever
you and your husband come to England, do let me know,
that I may try and repay a little the happiest five
days I’ve spent out here.
“Your very faithful servant,
“Timmy Fort.”
She remembered a very brown face, a tall slim figure,
and something gallant about the whole of him.
What was he like after ten years? Grizzled,
married, with a large family? An odious thing—Time!
And Cousin Edward’s little yellow letter.
Good heavens! Twenty-six years ago—before
he was a parson, or married or anything! Such
a good partner, really musical; a queer, dear fellow,
devoted, absentminded, easily shocked, yet with flame
burning in him somewhere. ’Dear Leila,