“This will explane to those unfortnight traydsmen to womb I gayv orders for a large igstent ow it was that I couldn’t pay their accounts.  I am the soal of onour—­but no gent can pay when he has no money—­it’s not my fault if that old screw Lady Bareacres cabbidged three hundred yards of lace, and kep back 4 of the biggest diminds and seven of the largist Injar Shawls—­it’s not my fault if the tradespeople didn git their goods back, and that Lady B. declared they were lost. I began the world afresh with the close on my back, and thirteen and six in money, concealing nothink, giving up heverythink, Onist and undismayed, and though beat, with pluck in me still, and ready to begin agin.

“Well—­it was the day before that apinted for my Unium.  The ‘Ringdove’ steamer was lying at Dover ready to carry us hoff.  The Bridle apartmince had been hordered at Salt Hill, and subsquintly at Balong sur Mare—­the very table cloth was laid for the weddn brexfst in Ill Street, and the Bride’s Right Reverend Huncle, the Lord Bishop of Bullocksmithy, had arrived to sellabrayt our unium.  All the papers were full of it.  Crowds of the fashnable world went to see the trooso, and admire the Carridges in Long Hacre.  Our travleng charrat (light bloo lined with pink satting, and vermillium and goold weals) was the hadmaration of all for quiet ellygns.  We were to travel only 4, viz. me, my lady, my vally, and Mary Hann as famdyshamber to my Hangelina.  Far from oposing our match, this worthy gal had quite givn into it of late, and laught and joakt, and enjoyd our plans for the fewter igseedinkly.

“I’d left my lovely Bride very gay the night before—­aving a multachewd of bisniss on, and Stockbrokers’ and bankers’ accounts to settle:  atsettrey atsettrey.  It was layt before I got these in horder:  my sleap was feavrish, as most mens is when they are going to be marrid or to be hanged.  I took my chocklit in bed about one:  tride on my wedding close, and found as ushle that they became me exeedingly.

“One thing distubbed my mind—­two weskts had been sent home.  A blush-white satting and gold, and a kinary colored tabbinet imbridered in silver:  which should I wear on the hospicious day?  This hadgitated and perplext me a good deal.  I detummined to go down to Hill Street and cumsult the Lady whose wishis were henceforth to be my HALLINALL; and wear whichever she phixt on.

“There was a great bussel and distubbans in the Hall in Ill Street:  which I etribyouted to the eproaching event.  The old porter stared meost uncommon when I kem in—­the footman who was to enounce me laft I thought—­I was going up stairs—­

“‘Her ladyship’s not—­not at home,’ says the man; ’and my lady’s hill in bed.’

“‘Git lunch,’ says I, ‘I’ll wait till Lady Hangelina returns.’

“At this the feller loox at me for a momint with his cheex blown out like a bladder, and then busts out in a reglar guffau! the porter jined in it, the impident old raskle:  and Thomas says, slapping his and on his thy, without the least respect—­I say, Huffy, old boy!  Isn’t this a good un?’