“‘Recklect, gents,’ says I to the 2 lords,—­’a barging’s a barging—­I’ll pay hoff Southdown’s Jews, when I’m his brother.  As a STRAYNGER’—­(this I said in a sarcastickle toan)—­’I wouldn’t take such a libbaty.  When I’m your suninlor I’ll treble the valyou of your estayt.  I’ll make your incumbrinces as right as a trivit, and restor the ouse of Bareacres to its herly splender.  But a pig in a poak is not the way of transacting bisniss imployed by Jeames De la Pluche, Esquire.’

“And I had a right to speak in this way.  I was one of the greatest scrip-holders in Hengland; and calclated on a kilossle fortune.  All my shares was rising immence.  Every poast brot me noose that I was sevral thowsands richer than the day befor.  I was detummind not to reerlize till the proper time, and then to buy istates; to found a new family of Delapluches, and to alie myself with the aristoxy of my country.

“These pints I reprasented to pore Mary Hann hover and hover agin.  ’If you’d been Lady Hangelina, my dear gal,’ says I, ’I would have married you:  and why don’t I?  Because my dooty prewents me.  I’m a marter to dooty; and you, my pore gal, must cumsole yorself with that ideer.’

“There seemed to be a consperracy, too, between that Silvertop and Lady Hangelina to drive me to the same pint.  ’What a plucky fellow you were, Pluche,’ says he (he was rayther more familiar than I liked), ’in your fight with Fitzwarren—­to engage a man of twice your strength and science, though you were sure to be beaten’ (this is an etroashous folsood:  I should have finnisht Fitz in 10 minnits), ’for the sake of poor Mary Hann!  That’s a generous fellow.  I like to see a man risen to eminence like you, having his heart in the right place.  When is to be the marriage, my boy?’

“‘Capting S.’ says I, ’my marridge consunns your most umble servnt a precious sight more than you;’—­and I gev him to understand I didn’t want him to put in his ore—­I wasn’t afrayd of his whiskers, I prommis you, Capting as he was.  I’m a British Lion, I am as brayv as Bonypert, Hannible, or Holiver Crummle, and would face bagnits as well as any Evy drigoon of ’em all.

“Lady Hangelina, too, igspawstulated in her hartfl way.  ’Mr. De la Pluche (seshee), why, why press this point?  You can’t suppose that you will be happy with a person like me?’

“‘I adoar you, charming gal!’ says I.  ’Never, never go to say any such thing.’

“‘You adored Mary Ann first,’ answers her ladyship; ’you can’t keep your eyes off her now.  If any man courts her you grow so jealous that you begin beating him.  You will break the girl’s heart if you don’t marry her, and perhaps some one else’s—­but you don’t mind that.’

“’Break yours, you adoarible creature!  I’d die first!  And as for Mary Hann, she will git over it; people’s arts aint broakn so easy.  Once for all, suckmstances is changed betwigst me and er.  It’s a pang to part with her’ (says I, my fine hi’s filling with tears), ’but part from her I must.’