I said so out of politeness, because I served the family, not because Tuggeridge was my uncle—­no, as such I disown him.

Mr. Bar was just about to speak.  “Yes, sir,” says he, “my master’s gaw—­” when at the “gaw” in walks Mr. Hock, the own man!—­the finest gentleman I ever saw.

“What, you here, Mr. Bar!” says he.

“Yes, I am, sir; and haven’t I a right, sir?”

“A mighty wet day, sir,” says I to Mr. Hock—­stepping up and making my bow.  “A sad circumstance too, sir!  And is it a turn of the tongs that you want to-day, sir?  Ho, there, Mr. Crump!”

“Turn, Mr. Crump, if you please, sir,” said Mr. Hock, making a bow:  “but from you, sir, never—­no, never, split me!—­and I wonder how some fellows can have the insolence to allow their masters to shave them!” With this, Mr. Hock flung himself down to be curled:  Mr. Bar suddenly opened his mouth in order to reply; but seeing there was a tiff between the gentlemen, and wanting to prevent a quarrel, I rammed the Advertiser into Mr. Hock’s hands, and just popped my shaving-brush into Mr. Bar’s mouth—­a capital way to stop angry answers.

Mr. Bar had hardly been in the chair one second, when whir comes a hackney-coach to the door, from which springs a gentleman in a black coat with a bag.

“What, you here!” says the gentleman.  I could not help smiling, for it seemed that everybody was to begin by saying, “What, you here!” “Your name is Cox, sir?” says he; smiling too, as the very pattern of mine.  “My name, sir, is Sharpus,—­Blunt, Hone and Sharpus, Middle Temple Lane,—­and I am proud to salute you, sir; happy,—­that is to say, sorry to say that Mr. Tuggeridge, of Portland Place, is dead, and your lady is heiress, in consequence, to one of the handsomest properties in the kingdom.”

At this I started, and might have sunk to the ground, but for my hold of Mr. Bar’s nose; Orlando seemed putrified to stone, with his irons fixed to Mr. Hock’s head; our respective patients gave a wince out:—­Mrs. C., Jemimarann, and Tug, rushed from the back shop, and we formed a splendid tableau such as the great Cruikshank might have depicted.

“And Mr. John Tuggeridge, sir?” says I.

“Why—­hee, hee, hee!” says Mr. Sharpus.  “Surely you know that he was only the—­hee, hee, hee!—­the natural son!”

You now can understand why the servants from Portland Place had been so eager to come to us.  One of the house-maids heard Mr. Sharpus say there was no will, and that my wife was heir to the property, and not Mr. John Tuggeridge:  this she told in the housekeeper’s room; and off, as soon as they heard it, the whole party set, in order to be the first to bear the news.

We kept them, every one in their old places; for, though my wife would have sent them about their business, my dear Jemimarann just hinted, “Mamma, you know they have been used to great houses, and we have not; had we not better keep them for a little?”—­Keep them, then, we did, to show us how to be gentlefolks.