backwards—­then tottered forwards—­then tumbled into my—­Psha! why recall, why attempt to describe that delicious—­that passionate greeting of two young hearts?  What was the surrounding crowd to us?  What cared we for the sneers of the men, the titters of the jealous women, the shrill “Upon my word!” of the elder Miss Bulcher, and the loud expostulations of Belinda’s mamma?  The brave girl loved me, and wept in my arms.  “Goliah! my Goliah!” said she, “my brave, my beautiful, thou art returned, and hope comes back with thee.  Oh! who can tell the anguish of my soul, during this dreadful, dreadful night!” Other similar ejaculations of love and joy she uttered; and if I had perilled life in her service, if I did believe that hope of escape there was none, so exquisite was the moment of our meeting, that I forgot all else in this overwhelming joy!

*****

[The Major’s description of this meeting, which lasted at the very most not ten seconds, occupies thirteen pages of writing.  We have been compelled to dock off twelve and a half; for the whole passage, though highly creditable to his feelings, might possibly be tedious to the reader.]

*****

As I said, the ladies and gentlemen were inclined to sneer, and were giggling audibly.  I led the dear girl to a chair, and, scowling round with a tremendous fierceness, which those who know me know I can sometimes put on, I shouted out, “Hark ye men and women—­I am this lady’s truest knight—­her husband I hope one day to be.  I am commander, too, in this fort—­the enemy is without it; another word of mockery—­another glance of scorn—­and, by heaven, I will hurl every man and woman from the battlements, a prey to the ruffianly Holkar!” This quieted them.  I am a man of my word, and none of them stirred or looked disrespectfully from that moment.

It was now my turn to make them look foolish.  Mrs. Vandegobbleschroy (whose unfailing appetite is pretty well known to every person who has been in India) cried, “Well, Captain Gahagan, your ball has been so pleasant, and the supper was despatched so long ago, that myself and the ladies would be very glad of a little breakfast.”  And Mrs. Van giggled as if she had made a very witty and reasonable speech.  “Oh! breakfast, breakfast by all means,” said the rest; “we really are dying for a warm cup of tea.”

“Is it bohay tay or souchong tay that you’d like, ladies?” says I.

“Nonsense, you silly man; any tea you like,” said fat Mrs. Van.

“What do you say, then, to some prime gunpowder?” Of course they said it was the very thing.

“And do you like hot rowls or cowld—­muffins or crumpets—­fresh butter or salt?  And you, gentlemen, what do you say to some ilegant divvled-kidneys for yourselves, and just a trifle of grilled turkeys, and a couple of hundthred new-laid eggs for the ladies?”

“Pooh, pooh! be it as you will, my dear fellow,” answered they all.