then, Adela—then, it cowered by my side
in the light of noon, or sat by my bed,—a
Darkness visible through the Dark. If, in the
galleries of Divine Art, the dreams of my youth woke
the early emulation,—if I turned to the
thoughts of sages; if the example of the great, if
the converse of the wise, aroused the silenced intellect,
the demon was with me as by a spell. At last,
one evening, at Genoa, to which city I had travelled
in pursuit of the mystic, suddenly, and when least
expected, he appeared before me. It was the time
of the Carnival. It was in one of those half-frantic
scenes of noise and revel, call it not gayety, which
establish a heathen saturnalia in the midst of a Christian
festival. Wearied with the dance, I had entered
a room in which several revellers were seated, drinking,
singing, shouting; and in their fantastic dresses
and hideous masks, their orgy seemed scarcely human.
I placed myself amongst them, and in that fearful excitement
of the spirits which the happy never know, I was soon
the most riotous of all. The conversation fell
on the Revolution of France, which had always possessed
for me an absorbing fascination. The masks spoke
of the millennium it was to bring on earth, not as
philosophers rejoicing in the advent of light, but
as ruffians exulting in the annihilation of law.
I know not why it was, but their licentious language
infected myself; and, always desirous to be foremost
in every circle, I soon exceeded even these rioters
in declamations on the nature of the liberty which
was about to embrace all the families of the globe,—a
liberty that should pervade not only public legislation,
but domestic life; an emancipation from every fetter
that men had forged for themselves. In the midst
of this tirade one of the masks whispered me,—
“‘Take care. One listens to you who
seems to be a spy!’
“My eyes followed those of the mask, and I observed
a man who took no part in the conversation, but whose
gaze was bent upon me. He was disguised like
the rest, yet I found by a general whisper that none
had observed him enter. His silence, his attention,
had alarmed the fears of the other revellers,—they
only excited me the more. Rapt in my subject,
I pursued it, insensible to the signs of those about
me; and, addressing myself only to the silent mask
who sat alone, apart from the group, I did not even
observe that, one by one, the revellers slunk off,
and that I and the silent listener were left alone,
until, pausing from my heated and impetuous declamations,
I said,—
“’And you, signor,—what is
your view of this mighty era? Opinion without
persecution; brotherhood without jealousy; love without
bondage—’
“‘And life without God,’ added the
mask as I hesitated for new images.
“The sound of that well-known voice changed
the current of my thought. I sprang forward,
and cried,—
“‘Imposter or Fiend, we meet at last!’
“The figure rose as I advanced, and, unmasking,
showed the features of Mejnour. His fixed eye,
his majestic aspect, awed and repelled me. I
stood rooted to the ground.