future. The present with this dark cruelty of
a decision, one way or the other, seemed impossible.
He realised now so much more keenly what his mother
felt than he had at first; as if the story in that
letter had been a poisonous germ producing a kind of
fever of partisanship, so that he really felt there
were two camps, his mother’s and his—Fleur’s
and her father’s. It might be a dead thing,
that old tragic ownership and enmity, but dead things
were poisonous till time had cleaned them away.
Even his love felt tainted, less illusioned, more
of the earth, and with a treacherous lurking doubt
lest Fleur, like her father, might want to own; not
articulate, just a stealing haunt, horribly unworthy,
which crept in and about the ardour of his memories,
touched with its tarnishing breath the vividness and
grace of that charmed face and figure—a
doubt, not real enough to convince him of its presence,
just real enough to deflower a perfect faith.
And perfect faith, to Jon, not yet twenty, was essential.
He still had Youth’s eagerness to give with
both hands, to take with neither—to give
lovingly to one who had his own impulsive generosity.
Surely she had! He got up from the window-seat
and roamed in the big grey ghostly room, whose walls
were hung with silvered canvas. This house his
father said in that death-bed letter—had
been built for his mother to live in—with
Fleur’s father! He put out his hand in
the half-dark, as if to grasp the shadowy hand of
the dead. He clenched, trying to feel the thin
vanished fingers of his father; to squeeze them, and
reassure him that he—he was on his father’s
side. Tears, prisoned within him, made his eyes
feel dry and hot. He went back to the window.
It was warmer, not so eerie, more comforting outside,
where the moon hung golden, three days off full; the
freedom of the night was comforting. If only
Fleur and he had met on some desert island without
a past—and Nature for their house!
Jon had still his high regard for desert islands,
where breadfruit grew, and the water was blue above
the coral. The night was deep, was free—there
was enticement in it; a lure, a promise, a refuge
from entanglement, and love! Milksop tied to
his mother’s...! His cheeks burned.
He shut the window, drew curtains over it, switched
off the lighted sconce, and went up-stairs.
The door of his room was open, the light turned up;
his mother, still in her evening gown, was standing
at the window. She turned and said:
“Sit down, Jon; let’s talk.”
She sat down on the window-seat, Jon on his bed.
She had her profile turned to him, and the beauty
and grace of her figure, the delicate line of the
brow, the nose, the neck, the strange and as it were
remote refinement of her, moved him. His mother
never belonged to her surroundings. She came
into them from somewhere—as it were!
What was she going to say to him, who had in his heart
such things to say to her?
“I know Fleur came to-day. I’m not
surprised.” It was as though she had added:
“She is her father’s daughter!”
And Jon’s heart hardened. Irene went on
quietly: