when he died. All this was nothing to Jon, and
little enough to his mother. It was June who
did everything needful for one who had left his affairs
in perfect order. When she had gone, and those
two were alone again in the great house, alone with
death drawing them together, and love driving them
apart, Jon passed very painful days secretly disgusted
and disappointed with himself. His mother would
look at him with such a patient sadness which yet had
in it an instinctive pride, as if she were reserving
her defence. If she smiled he was angry that
his answering smile should be so grudging and unnatural.
He did not judge or condemn her; that was all too
remote—indeed, the idea of doing so had
never come to him. No! he was grudging and unnatural
because he couldn’t have what he wanted be cause
of her. There was one alleviation—much
to do in connection with his father’s career,
which could not be safely entrusted to June, though
she had offered to undertake it. Both Jon and
his mother had felt that if she took his portfolios,
unexhibited drawings and unfinished matter, away with
her, the work would encounter such icy blasts from
Paul Post and other frequenters of her studio, that
it would soon be frozen out even of her warm heart.
On its old-fashioned plane and of its kind the work
was good, and they could not bear the thought of its
subjection to ridicule. A one-man exhibition
of his work was the least testimony they could pay
to one they had loved; and on preparation for this
they spent many hours together. Jon came to have
a curiously increased respect for his father.
The quiet tenacity with which he had converted a
mediocre talent into something really individual was
disclosed by these researches. There was a great
mass of work with a rare continuity of growth in depth
and reach of vision. Nothing certainly went very
deep, or reached very high—but such as
the work was, it was thorough, conscientious, and
complete. And, remembering his father’s
utter absence of “side” or self-assertion,
the chaffing humility with which he had always spoken
of his own efforts, ever calling himself “an
amateur,” Jon could not help feeling that he
had never really known his father. To take
himself seriously, yet never bore others by letting
them know that he did so, seemed to have been his
ruling principle. There was something in this
which appealed to the boy, and made him heartily endorse
his mother’s comment: “He had true
refinement; he couldn’t help thinking of others,
whatever he did. And when he took a resolution
which went counter, he did it with the minimum of
defiance—not like the Age, is it?
Twice in his life he had to go against everything;
and yet it never made him bitter.” Jon
saw tears running down her face, which she at once
turned away from him. She was so quiet about
her loss that sometimes he had thought she didn’t
feel it much. Now, as he looked at her, he felt
how far he fell short of the reserve power and dignity
in both his father and his mother. And, stealing
up to her, he put his arm round her waist. She
kissed him swiftly, but with a sort of passion, and
went out of the room.