Droll Stories — Volume 3 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 187 pages of information about Droll Stories — Volume 3.

Droll Stories — Volume 3 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 187 pages of information about Droll Stories — Volume 3.

But our silversmith, always busy at his work, burnishing gold and melting silver, had no time to warm his love or to burnish and make shine his fantasies, nor to show off, gad about, waste his time in mischief, or to run after she-males.  Now seeing that in Paris virgins do not fall into the beds of young men any more than roast pheasants into the streets, not even when the young men are royal silversmiths, the Touranian had the advantage of having, as I have before observed, a continent member in his shirt.  However, the good man could not close his eyes to the advantage of nature with which were so amply furnished the ladies with whom he dilated upon the value of his jewels.  So it was that, after listening to the gentle discourse of the ladies, who tried to wheedle and to fondle him to obtain a favour from him, the good Touranian would return to his home, dreamy as a poet, wretched as a restless cuckoo, and would say to himself, “I must take to myself a wife.  She would keep the house tidy, keep the plates hot for me, fold the clothes for me, sew my buttons on, sing merrily about the house, tease me to do everything according to her taste, would say to me as they all say to their husbands when they want a jewel, ’Oh, my own pet, look at this, is it not pretty?’ And every one in the quarter will think of my wife and then of me, and say ‘There’s a happy man.’  Then the getting married, the bridal festivities, to fondle Madame Silversmith, to dress her superbly, give her a fine gold chain, to worship her from crown to toe, to give her the whole management of the house, except the cash, to give her a nice little room upstairs, with good windows, pretty, and hung around with tapestry, with a wonderful chest in it and a fine large bed, with twisted columns and curtains of yellow silk.  He would buy her beautiful mirrors, and there would always be a dozen or so of children, his and hers, when he came home to greet him.”  Then wife and children would vanish into the clouds.  He transferred his melancholy imaginings to fantastic designs, fashioned his amorous thoughts into grotesque jewels that pleased their buyers well, they not knowing how many wives and children were lost in the productions of the good man, who, the more talent he threw into his art, the more disordered he became.  Now if God had not had pity upon him, he would have quitted this world without knowing what love was, but would have known it in the other without that metamorphosis of the flesh which spares it, according to Monsieur Plato, a man of some authority, but who, not being a Christian, was wrong.  But, there! these preparatory digressions are the idle digressions and fastidious commentaries which certain unbelievers compel a man to wind about a tale, swaddling clothes about an infant when it should run about stark naked.  May the great devil give them a clyster with his red-hot three-pronged fork.  I am going on with my story now without further circumlocution.

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Project Gutenberg
Droll Stories — Volume 3 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.