Beyond eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 451 pages of information about Beyond.

Beyond eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 451 pages of information about Beyond.

While he was keying up his violin, Gyp’s conduct in never having come there for so long struck him as bitterly unjust.  The girl—­ who cared about the wretched girl?  As if she made any real difference!  It was all so much deeper than that.  Gyp had never loved him, never given him what he wanted, never quenched his thirst of her!  That was the heart of it.  No other woman he had ever had to do with had been like that—­kept his thirst unquenched.  No; he had always tired of them before they tired of him.  She gave him nothing really—­nothing!  Had she no heart or did she give it elsewhere?  What was that Paul had said about her music-lessons?  And suddenly it struck him that he knew nothing, absolutely nothing, of where she went or what she did.  She never told him anything.  Music-lessons?  Every day, nearly, she went out, was away for hours.  The thought that she might go to the arms of another man made him put down his violin with a feeling of actual sickness.  Why not?  That deep and fearful whipping of the sexual instinct which makes the ache of jealousy so truly terrible was at its full in such a nature as Fiorsen’s.  He drew a long breath and shuddered.  The remembrance of her fastidious pride, her candour, above all her passivity cut in across his fear.  No, not Gyp!

He went to a little table whereon stood a tantalus, tumblers, and a syphon, and pouring out some brandy, drank.  It steadied him.  And he began to practise.  He took a passage from Brahms’ violin concerto and began to play it over and over.  Suddenly, he found he was repeating the same flaws each time; he was not attending.  The fingering of that thing was ghastly!  Music-lessons!  Why did she take them?  Waste of time and money—­she would never be anything but an amateur!  Ugh!  Unconsciously, he had stopped playing.  Had she gone there to-day?  It was past lunch-time.  Perhaps she had come in.

He put down his violin and went back to the house.  No sign of her!  The maid came to ask if he would lunch.  No!  Was the mistress to be in?  She had not said.  He went into the dining-room, ate a biscuit, and drank a brandy and soda.  It steadied him.  Lighting a cigarette, he came back to the drawing-room and sat down at Gyp’s bureau.  How tidy!  On the little calendar, a pencil-cross was set against to-day—­Wednesday, another against Friday.  What for?  Music-lessons!  He reached to a pigeon-hole, and took out her address-book.  “H—­Harmost, 305A, Marylebone Road,” and against it the words in pencil, “3 P.M.”

Three o’clock.  So that was her hour!  His eyes rested idly on a little old coloured print of a Bacchante, with flowing green scarf, shaking a tambourine at a naked Cupid, who with a baby bow and arrow in his hands, was gazing up at her.  He turned it over; on the back was written in a pointed, scriggly hand, “To my little friend.—­E.  H.”  Fiorsen drew smoke deep down into his lungs, expelled it slowly, and went to the piano. 

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Project Gutenberg
Beyond from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.