“Why, you are crying!” cried Lubotshka suddenly as she ceased to toy with his watch-chain and stared at him with her great black eyes.  “Pardon me, darling Papa!  I had quite forgotten that it was dear Mamma’s piece which I was playing.”

“No, no, my love; play it often,” he said in a voice trembling with emotion.  “Ah, if you only knew how much good it does me to share your tears!”

He kissed her again, and then, mastering his feelings and shrugging his shoulders, went to the door leading to the corridor which ran past Woloda’s room.

“Waldemar, shall you be ready soon?” he cried, halting in the middle of the passage.  Just then Masha came along.

“Why, you look prettier every day,” he said to her.  She blushed and passed on.

“Waldemar, shall you be ready soon?” he cried again, with a cough and a shake of his shoulders, just as Masha slipped away and he first caught sight of me.

I loved Papa, but the intellect is independent of the heart, and often gives birth to thoughts which offend and are harsh and incomprehensible to the feelings.  And it was thoughts of this kind that, for all I strove to put them away, arose at that moment in my mind.

XXIII.  GRANDMAMMA

Grandmamma was growing weaker every day.  Her bell, Gasha’s grumbling voice, and the slamming of doors in her room were sounds of constant occurrence, and she no longer received us sitting in the Voltairian arm-chair in her boudoir, but lying on the bed in her bedroom, supported on lace-trimmed cushions.  One day when she greeted us, I noticed a yellowish-white swelling on her hand, and smelt the same oppressive odour which I had smelt five years ago in Mamma’s room.  The doctor came three times a day, and there had been more than one consultation.  Yet the character of her haughty, ceremonious bearing towards all who lived with her, and particularly towards Papa, never changed in the least.  She went on emphasising certain words, raising her eyebrows, and saying “my dear,” just as she had always done.

Then for a few days we did not see her at all, and one morning St. Jerome proposed to me that Woloda and I should take Katenka and Lubotshka for a drive during the hours generally allotted to study.  Although I observed that the street was lined with straw under the windows of Grandmamma’s room, and that some men in blue stockings [Undertaker’s men.] were standing at our gate, the reason never dawned upon me why we were being sent out at that unusual hour.  Throughout the drive Lubotshka and I were in that particularly merry mood when the least trifle, the least word or movement, sets one off laughing.