world, and expecting it. To me there was nothing
strange or incongruous in heaven’s making such
an uproar about Lem Hackett. Apparently it was
the right and proper thing to do. Not a doubt
entered my mind that all the angels were grouped together,
discussing this boy’s case and observing the
awful bombardment of our beggarly little village with
satisfaction and approval. There was one thing
which disturbed me in the most serious way; that was
the thought that this centering of the celestial interest
on our village could not fail to attract the attention
of the observers to people among us who might otherwise
have escaped notice for years. I felt that I
was not only one of those people, but the very one
most likely to be discovered. That discovery
could have but one result: I should be in the
fire with Lem before the chill of the river had been
fairly warmed out of him. I knew that this would
be only just and fair. I was increasing the chances
against myself all the time, by feeling a secret bitterness
against Lem for having attracted this fatal attention
to me, but I could not help it—this sinful
thought persisted in infesting my breast in spite
of me. Every time the lightning glared I caught
my breath, and judged I was gone. In my terror
and misery, I meanly began to suggest other boys,
and mention acts of theirs which were wickeder than
mine, and peculiarly needed punishment—and
I tried to pretend to myself that I was simply doing
this in a casual way, and without intent to divert
the heavenly attention to them for the purpose of
getting rid of it myself. With deep sagacity I
put these mentions into the form of sorrowing recollections
and left-handed sham-supplications that the sins
of those boys might be allowed to pass unnoticed—’Possibly
they may repent.’ ’It is true that
Jim Smith broke a window and lied about it—but
maybe he did not mean any harm. And although
Tom Holmes says more bad words than any other boy in
the village, he probably intends to repent—though
he has never said he would. And whilst it is
a fact that John Jones did fish a little on Sunday,
once, he didn’t really catch anything but only
just one small useless mud-cat; and maybe that wouldn’t
have been so awful if he had thrown it back—as
he says he did, but he didn’t. Pity but
they would repent of these dreadful things—and
maybe they will yet.’
But while I was shamefully trying to draw attention to these poor chaps —who were doubtless directing the celestial attention to me at the same moment, though I never once suspected that—I had heedlessly left my candle burning. It was not a time to neglect even trifling precautions. There was no occasion to add anything to the facilities for attracting notice to me—so I put the light out.